I needed a pair of jeans, so I grabbed my 1 and 2-year-old and headed to Kohl’s. Already, I know you can see that this didn’t go well, and in the end I grabbed a couple pair of random jeans, bought them, and figured I’d return what didn’t fit later.
My body has changed. I can no longer buy from the junior’s department, my body has seen things no junior’s body has seen or even had nightmares about. I have been pregnant 6 times, I have 5 children, I have gone from 115 to 175 lbs. and back more than once, my boobs have gone from A to D to well, now they are saggy and somewhere in between. Low rise jeans just aren’t flattering on a body that’s been so distended, at least not mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel pretty confident. I will wear a bikini in the baby pool and my shorts show a lot of thigh, but jeans are my hell. The muffin top, the baby pooch that never disappears no matter how much time has passed or how much I exercise. At times I wonder why they don’t make normal jeans with a panel for those of us who just aren’t able to squeeze into skinny jeans.
I got home and tried on the first pair. They were too big. The second pair was just right. I haven’t worn a pair of jeans in years that I didn’t have to keep pulling up and adjusting throughout the day. It’s been at least a decade since I could strut around, bend over, and move in jeans and not feel like my butt was hanging out or that someone could peek down my backside.
It isn’t the size of the clothes that makes you feel sexy, it is the fit.
Now let me tell you the secret I have been keeping this whole time, the jeans that I tried on and fell in love with were Mom Jeans!
Yes. I admit it. I am a mom jeans convert. Who would have thought I could feel confident and attractive in mom jeans? That high-waisted denim just sucked my pooch right in, and it went high enough that muffin top was no where to be seen. My first instinct was to was be thoroughly embarrassed, take them off, hide them, return them, but it has been so long since I felt comfortable in a pair of jeans that I just said screw it.
I already live the mom life. I reside in the suburbs, I drink wine, I drive a mini-van, and now I will do it all while wearing Mom Jeans. I am not being fashion forward or ironic like hipsters or millennials who think this is the latest fashion trend. I am a 30 something mother of 5 trying to hide her pooch, and not show her ass. It is with pride that I raise my wine glass, shake off any idea I could be a junior, fully accept I am a woman, a mom, and I will pull my high-waisted jeans on and take my kids to soccer practice.