I admit it: I fall short far more than a few. I may wake up on the wrong side of the bed, but still, I try to give you my best. Then, sometimes my best turns into my worst.
Then I know I was wrong. Then I know I should apologize. It’s never my attention to yell or be rude. But thank you for accepting my apology.
I hate when my emotions get the best of me. You didn’t deserve my anger when your older brother wasn’t being respectful to me, and you didn’t deserve my frustration from your sister spilling her food on the floor. But thank you for accepting my apology.
You didn’t deserve my irritability from being tired, and you didn’t deserve my negativity from a disagreement with your dad. But thank you for accepting my apology.
You didn’t deserve my bad mood when I forgot to do that one important thing or when I was scrambling to get dinner on the table. But thank you for accepting my apology.
I often forget that you all . . . you’re human, too. You have feelings just like me. For that, I need to be better and do better. You never deserve the worst of me.
Motherhood isn’t easy, but it doesn’t mean I should rob myself of the joy and wonderful memories it brings. It doesn’t mean I should forget why I wanted to be a mother in the first place. It doesn’t mean I should give up and let you forget how much I love you.
I hope you know that my apologies are sincere. I hope you know that I’m trying every day. I hope you can see that it takes time to be the person you want to be and that you shouldn’t give up.
I have every desire to be a better mother and to give you those precious memories from childhood that you’ll always want to think about when you’re an adult. I want to be the mother you desire to be or to marry.
I want you to know you’re teaching me humility in so many ways and that it doesn’t hurt to learn from a child. I want you to know that when you fail, I’ll forgive you, too. I want you to know if you apologize, I will accept your apology, too.
So, thank you for allowing me to love you unconditionally and for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for giving me so many chances. Thank you for giving me grace and teaching me to give myself grace, too.
Thank you for giving me some peace that I can try again and that you’ll still love me. You’re teaching me that forgiveness is still alive and that your hearts are capable of it.
You give me hope that you’ll take this forgiveness into the world and be a light. You give me hope that I can make the big things small things and that they don’t deserve to get the best of me.
You give me hope that I can one day soon overcome the feelings of mommy guilt because I was able to be that mom I knew I could be.