Dear Son, I’m Catching Glimpses of the Man You’ll Be One Day

I saw you today. You didn’t know I was watching. You quietly got the jelly off the counter and put it in the refrigerator. I left it out when I made Daddy a sandwich and you put it away for me. My sweet soon-to-be-two-year-old, you are beyond your years. 

The battle of the refrigerator is one we have often. You love to pull everything out and rearrange it. It drives me nuts and I’ve even tried duct taping it shut to keep you out. Lately, I’ve given up on it. But how beautiful to watch you know what to do with that jelly, because I’ve given in and let you explore the contents of that refrigerator. In a moment when I almost sternly told you to put that jelly down (I mean, it’s a glass jar!!), I saw you. 

I saw you today. When you squeezed your Go-gurt all over the floor. Right after dumping your veggie straws on the couch. I could have cried from the defeat I felt. But you stood on your tippy toes and grabbed a towel from the counter and you wiped it up. All by yourself. My heart swelled with pride and I was grateful I didn’t yell at you right away. You had a chance to make it right, and you did. My sweet baby, you are learning to be so helpful. 

Ninety-eight percent of your food ends up on the floor. It’s enough to make me lose my mind. But lately, 90 percent of that food is cleaned up by you. And that is so, so important. You’re learning to help but you’re also learning it’s OK to make a mistake because sometimes you can make it right. I could’ve yelled as soon as you started to make a mess, but instead—I saw you. 

I saw you today. You were riding in your sweet cousin’s Jeep. She got out and walked around for a minute before coming back. You leaned over and pushed her door open, and closed it when she got in. I’m sure you’ve seen Daddy do the same for me. It melted my heart into a massive puddle. You are so little and young, there’s no way you can see the importance of that small act, but I can. My sweet son, you will be such a gentleman. 

Being a boy mom is such a crazy and fun experience. Especially when you are such wild little thing. There are so many things I need to teach you but I hope being kind and gentle toward girls is not one of the struggles we will have. I see the love and  sweetness you possess, and I hope it never fades. 

I saw you today pick up that piece of paper on the floor I’ve walked past for at least two days and haven’t had the energy to bend down and fish out from under the table. I saw you today, yank that diaper off and try to put a new one on. I saw you today, run out that back door to pet the cat before running back in, hoping I didn’t notice. I saw you today, as you ran to me and hugged my legs, for no reason at all. 

I’m grateful for these times I see you and these glimpses of who you are growing to be. My sweet wild child, I wouldn’t have you any other way. You are strong, determined, and fun. But you are also gentle, sweet, loving and smart. We butt heads all day long but at the end of every night, I can always count on sweet snuggles and little kisses. I saw you today, and you are incredible.