It was at my baby shower that I received my daughter’s first princess tiara. It was a gift from a family friend and it was truly beautiful. Radiantly adorned with Swarovski crystals and perfectly sized to fit atop a tiny toddler’s head. I remember my mom gushing over it when I unwrapped the box after the party was over.

I scowled at it. “She will not wear that thing,” I said.

My mom looked confused. “But she’s going to be a little girl. Of course she will want to wear it!” she said.

“My daughter will never be called a princess. End of story.”

As a kid, I loved making mud pies in the backyard and riding bikes and playing baseball with the boys next door. I never cared for fairy tales, can’t remember the plot of most Disney movies from my childhood. I never played dress-up, I never owned a Barbie, and I certainly never wore a princess tiara. Once I entered adulthood, I developed a misconceived notion that the term “princess” was synonymous with weak, shallow, and co-dependent. I was not a princess, and my child wouldn’t be one either.

Fast forward years later and I now have a daughter who is in awe of Queen Elsa, knows every word that comes out of Princess Anna’s mouth, pretends to sail the seas like Moana, and squeals with delight when Belle starts singing. She beams when she sees sparkly shoes, twirls in circles upon wearing a new dress, and stares at me with complete adoration when I put my makeup on and fix my hair in the morning.

She is everything I was not. She is everything I never really understood.

She also gets sad when others are sad. When anyone gets hurt, she comforts them by singing a traditional Spanish song that we taught her (“Sana, sana, colita de rana…”). She is compassionate, she is strong-willed, she is intelligent, and she is independent. She is fearless and she is brave.

She is everything I ever hoped she would be.

The other night, we were quickly approaching an epic toddler meltdown and I needed something to distract her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something shimmer. There it was. That beautiful princess tiara. Someone had moved it out of its hiding spot and back into my mind. I picked it up, and she saw it for the first time ever. Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas Day.

“This, Mommy! I want this!” she exclaimed, pointing to the tiara.

I gently slid it into her hair. The meltdown was averted and her smile was contagious. She was the happiest two-year-old that ever lived at that moment in time. She was proud and unapologetic. She was her.

It was time for me to defy the stereotype. The word “stereotype” is rooted in Greek: stereos meaning “firm and solid,” and typos meaning “impression.” Put together, the word literally translates to a solid impression. It was time for me to break the impression that I had solidified around a persona that I was so judgmental of.

We read our nighttime books and headed to bed. As I reached to remove the tiara, she stopped my hand and whispered, “No, Mommy. I want this.” “Ok,” I said. “You can wear it to sleep. Sweet dreams, my love. I love you.”

“I love you, mommy.”

After she fell asleep I went back into her bedroom to quietly remove the tiara from her crib. When I looked into her crib I saw that the tiara had been taken off. She was holding it against her chest as she peacefully slept. It was hers. It was her.

We do not have children in order to raise them to be like us. We have children in order to raise them to become who they were meant to be. There are girls who love princesses. There are girls who love monster trucks. There are boys who could collect toy trains until the end of time, and there are boys who could collect baby dolls for years to come. They are all who they were meant to be, and it is our job to accept them as who they are.

Let’s work to defy the stereotype. Let’s work to let them be who they were destined to be.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Monica Gri

Monica Gri is a proud native Houstonian. She studied psychology as an undergraduate and later pursued a career in law. Despite her many roles, her favorite job is being a wife and mother. Outside of work, she enjoys spending time with her family, being outside, practicing yoga, reading, and writing. Her passion for writing has moved her to begin the early stages of launching her website, Here, You Are Home. Her hope is that her website will provide a safe, comforting, and non-judgmental space for parents who aspire to raise loving children while navigating the daily challenges of everyday life.

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading

I Had to Learn to Say “I’m Sorry” to My Kids

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Mom hugs tween daughter

My two oldest kiddos are at the front end of their teen years. I remember that time in my own life. I was loud, somewhat dramatic, I let my hormones control me, and I never—ever—apologized. This last part was because no one ever really taught me the value of apology or relationship repair. Now, I could do some parent blaming here but let’s be real, if you were a kid whose formative years were scattered between the late ’80s and early ’90s, did you get apologies from your parents? If so, count that blessing! Most parents were still living with...

Keep Reading

5 Things Your Child’s Kindergarten Teacher Wants You To Know

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child raising hand in kindergarten class

I am a teacher. I have committed my life to teaching children. Of course, before I began this career, I had visions of standing in front of a group of eager-eyed children and elaborating on history, science, and math lessons. I couldn’t wait to see the “lightbulb” moments when students finally understood a reading passage or wrote their first paper. And then I had my first day. Children are not cut out of a textbook (shocking, I know) but as a young 23-year-old, it knocked me right off my feet. I was thrown into the lion’s den, better known as...

Keep Reading