Kids Motherhood

I’m Not OK Today

I'm Not OK Today www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Jenni Laplow

After a long day at work, my husband bursts through the front door loudly singing an upbeat song which I’m sure he heard on the radio during his drive home.  Heck, I heard him singing all the way up the front steps, he doesn’t even need to announce, “Honey, I’m home!”  

He is the perfect picture of a happy guy coming home to his girls.

I, on the other hand, had on my grungy clothes, messy hair pulled back, no makeup, fussy baby on my hip (who didn’t take an afternoon nap), a barking dog, two cats howling at me for dinner, and the tune of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse going through my mind over and over and over again.  

I think this is the perfect picture of a SAHM.

I quickly hand over the baby and corral the animals to their feeding places so a little peace and quiet can be enjoyed…except that my husband keeps loudly singing.  I give him a glance, so he asks, “Are you OK?”

I wish I could go through the list of everything I didn’t get done around the house today, I still need to fold laundry, cook dinner, feed the baby, take a shower, and enjoy just a little peace and quiet.  Even though I haven’t talked full sentences all day, my mind is mush, so all I can mutter is, “I’m not OK today.”

My vision for the day did not go as planned.  The unexpected happened, and it continued throughout the day.  I was lucky enough to stay in a state of mind to not beat myself up about it, but now that my husband is home I start to feel unaccomplished, messy, and I mentally start to beat myself up.  How do I explain this to him?

As I’m fumbling through the kitchen to put something together for dinner, he sets the baby up in her highchair and feeds her dinner.  OK, that’s one thing that’s no longer on my to-do list.  After we eat, he helps me fold the laundry and put the clothes away, so another thing I no longer need to do.  He then offers to put the baby to bed so I can take a shower. I sigh…there’s my peace and quiet!

At the end of the night, he was the one who stepped up and helped me get past my difficult day. He didn’t come home expecting a clean house, he came home to be with his girls.  I wish I could go back to his arrival home and jump into his arms, give him a big kiss and start singing with him!  It’s a great reminder: some days he will need me to be the loud singer to lift his spirits.

The perfect picture of a SAHM includes someone special to be there and understand when your day doesn’t go OK.  I didn’t have to explain why my day did not go as planned, or what I wasn’t able to get done…all I had to say was, “I’m not OK today.” 

About the author

Jenni Laplow

I’m a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) located in Metro-Detroit, Michigan. Moving from a fast paced work environment to being a SAHM I’ve had a lot of adjustments in my life, so I rely on reading other mommy blogs for inspiration. I am happy to contribute my thoughts, ideas and experiences from my own stay-at-home journey! I am mommy to 1 daughter, 1 Puggle, and 2 cats.

44 Comments