I didn’t want to go!
My daughter was signed up for ice skating camp at our local indoor ice arena. It’s something she does every summer for a few weeks. She was a nervous wreck because she hadn’t skated in a couple of months and we just had to buy her new skates since she finally had a growth spurt. Breaking in new skates can be tough and she was afraid she would only qualify for a low skill group in camp since she was out of practice, so I promised her I would take her to an open skate session so she could brush up.
Of course, being the last-minute jane I can be, I didn’t take care of the skate purchase till a few days before she was to start. Of course, they didn’t have her size, so they had to be brought in from another shop, so now we had only one day till the beginning of camp.
It was a beautiful day outside. I mean beautiful. 80 degrees and sunny, where the sky is that blue color you only see a few times a year. No humidity, no smog, so the thought of spending my day indoors at the rink was unthinkable. My son had a birthday party at the town pool and I kind of wanted to just hang with my girlfriends and enjoy the sun. But I promised her. So off we went. Leaving my husband and son to enjoy the sun, the pool, and the cake.
Indoor rinks are always freezing and I’m always cold, and all I could think of was how this wasn’t fun. It just was this thing I was going to do because I’m her mom, and these are the kind of things moms do even when they don’t feel like it. We laced her up and off she went and I stood on the other side of the plexiglass and watched. I had even brought a book to fill my time. How silly and selfish I was being. Not that there is anything wrong with reading a book and doing my thing while she does hers, but that’s all I ever seem to do. I’m a decent skater and thought about getting on the ice with her, but then I thought, she needs to really practice and me on the ice would just be getting in the way.
She was alone on the ice, so I watched and then something amazing happened.
I really saw her.
My beautiful little girl, who was starting to become a young woman. All the should’s and obligations of my days, the work commitments, the laundry. All the crap we attend to in staying so busy as a mom. All of that melted away and I watched her. She looked so beautiful out there on the ice. She makes it looks so easy. I kept saying to her, skating was like riding a bike, your body just remembers. I got so excited as her confidence grew. I ran out to the front desk and grabbed a form with all of the tricks and requirements she needed to brush up on for the next day. I stood behind the glass and pointed to each one. Bunny hop, forward lunge, front and back cross overs. And I stood there and I rooted for her like I hadn’t in years.
In all the “being a mom,” the work, the chores– I somehow forgot to enjoy being her mom. Watching her on that ice showed me how much I was missing out. How much I had forgotten how to ENJOY being her mom. I won’t forget now. I will always remember ice skating in July! And I will CHERISH it.