Dear daughters,

You’re supposed to be sleeping right now, but you’ve asked to share a bed for the night, so quietly drifting off seems unrealistic when hysterical giggles are echoing down the hall. And that’s fine—you’re four and two, so who can blame you? You love each other wholly; you’re best friends, except for those inevitable moments when you become mortal enemies facing off over a toy. Hearing you laughing together, coming up with your own inside jokes and lines of conversation instead of sleeping—it really is fine. I pray you always appreciate the bond you’re forming now, even if you can’t possibly yet see how lasting it will be.

A few things I hope you remember in your lifelong sisterhood:

Remember to have your sister’s back.

Each of you, always. Be there when it’s hard or good. Be there when your sister seems far away. Any distance, whether it’s created by new friends, sports, college, a tough job, or, someday, your own children, can be crossed so that you meet in the middle. Take time for each other and invest in your relationship throughout life. One day, you will experience heartbreak. It might be a boy the first time, but you’ll face bigger struggles later, and your sister will be right there to wade through it all with you. Even when, hopefully decades from now, your father and I are gone—you’ll have each other to lean on.

Remember to have her front, too.

I think you’re the most beautiful girls in the world. You know what, though? There is a slight possibility that not everyone you meet will think so. If you hit the tween stage, and one of you feels awkward and gangly and like everyone is looking at your awkwardness and gangliness, the other better be ready to tackle self-conciousness and restore confidence. That stage will pass, and you’ll glow, comfortable in your own skin. For the time, though, give each other some love (and maybe some grace if there is purple eyeshadow involved, trust me). Never compete in this category; let your inner beauty shine above what’s readily visible.

Remember who you are and whose you are.

Because you’re so close in age, you’ll be well-known in your small town as sisters. You’re different people, but whatever you do, you’ll still be recognized as belonging to each other. Remember this when you make a choice that might affect your sister. If you find yourself in a tough social situation, lured in by peers to something you didn’t quite expect, you’ll always have someone to call who will be there to help you out of it and help you find your way home. Oh, and I hereby give permission to the rescuing sister to issue a stern lecture on my behalf, when necessary. 

Remember to be your sister’s biggest fan.

Maybe one will shine on the stage and one will be a killer shortstop. Maybe you’ll be side-by-side at the academic bowl or on the soccer field. You know who will be cheering you on, whatever the occasion? Your loving parents, probably with painted faces, and your loyal sister, probably sitting far away from your paint-faced parents. As you try new things, support each other. Help each other practice new moves and be a sounding board for creative endeavors. If you start cheering for each other now in t-ball, you’ll build a life full of celebrating together. You’ve got someone who is basically legally required to be excited when you text about how much money you saved couponing one day. However trivial, your sister will be proud of you.

Remember to walk in faith with your sister.

Believe the best of her and hope the best for her. Keep her accountable and help her strive to achieve the highest of goals. You are a gift to each other from our Creator, who linked together your hearts and souls before time began. Don’t squander that gift or take it for granted. Encourage one another in your faith, and, arm-in-arm, walk a life you can both be proud of.

All my love,

You may also like:

How Blessed I Am To Be Raising Sisters

So God Made a Sister

How Lucky You Are To Be Growing Up With Sisters

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Rebekah Warren

Rebekah Warren lives on ten acres in Oklahoma, where she’s constantly chasing after her barefooted daughters with their shoes. She writes about the joys and heartaches of motherhood at and on Instagram @rebekahwarrenwrites.

I Had to Learn to Say “I’m Sorry” to My Kids

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Mom hugs tween daughter

My two oldest kiddos are at the front end of their teen years. I remember that time in my own life. I was loud, somewhat dramatic, I let my hormones control me, and I never—ever—apologized. This last part was because no one ever really taught me the value of apology or relationship repair. Now, I could do some parent blaming here but let’s be real, if you were a kid whose formative years were scattered between the late ’80s and early ’90s, did you get apologies from your parents? If so, count that blessing! Most parents were still living with...

Keep Reading

5 Things Your Child’s Kindergarten Teacher Wants You To Know

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child raising hand in kindergarten class

I am a teacher. I have committed my life to teaching children. Of course, before I began this career, I had visions of standing in front of a group of eager-eyed children and elaborating on history, science, and math lessons. I couldn’t wait to see the “lightbulb” moments when students finally understood a reading passage or wrote their first paper. And then I had my first day. Children are not cut out of a textbook (shocking, I know) but as a young 23-year-old, it knocked me right off my feet. I was thrown into the lion’s den, better known as...

Keep Reading

To the Extended Family That Shows Up: We Couldn’t Do This Without You

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Family visiting new baby in a hospital room

This picture—my heart all but bursts every time I see it.  It was taken five years ago on the day our daughter was born. In it, my husband is giving her her very first bath while our proud extended family looks on. It was a sweet moment on a hugely special day, but gosh–what was captured in this photo is so much more than that. This photo represents everything I could have ever hoped for my kids: That they would have an extended family who shows up in their lives and loves them so deeply.  That they would have grandparents,...

Keep Reading

You’re Almost Grown, But You’re Always Welcome Back Home

In: Kids, Motherhood
Teen in room studying with computer and smartphone

Dear child, In the days before you could walk or talk, there were times when you would wail—when my rocking and shushing and bouncing were seemingly futile—but it didn’t matter. Each day and night, multiple times, I always picked you up and welcomed you back into my arms. As a toddler and a preschooler, you had some pretty epic meltdowns. There were times when you would thrash and scream, and all I could do was stand by and wait for the storm to blow over. Eventually, you would run to me, and I would welcome you back with a warm embrace....

Keep Reading

No One Warned Me About the Last Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding newborn baby, black-and-white photo

No one warned me about the last baby. When I had my first, my second, and my third, those first years were blurry from sleep deprivation and chaos from juggling multiple itty-bitties. But the last baby? There’s a desperation in that newborn fog to soak it up because there won’t be another. No one warned me about the last baby. Selling the baby swing and donating old toys because we wouldn’t need them crushed me. I cried selling our double jogger and thought my heart would split in two when I dropped off newborn clothes. Throwing out pacifiers and bottles...

Keep Reading

Parents Are Terrible Salespeople for Parenting

In: Kids, Motherhood
Tired mother with coffee cup on table, child sitting next to her

As the years of fertility start to wane, many of my childless peers are confronted with the question, “Should I have kids?” With hesitation, they turn to us parents who, frankly, seem overwhelmingly unhappy. They ask sheepishly, “Is it worth it?” We lift our heads up, bedraggled, bags under our eyes, covered in boogers and sweat and spit up, we mutter, “Of course! It’s so fulfilling!” It’s like asking a hostage if they like their captor. Sure, it’s great. We love them. But our eyes are begging for liberation. Save me, please. I haven’t slept through the night in years....

Keep Reading

Soak in the Moments because Babies Don’t Keep

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Roller coaster photo, color photo

I love marking the moments, the ones that count—making a note and storing them for memory. But I often miss out on them when it comes to our oldest. ⁣ ⁣The day he wanted to be baptized, I was at home with another kiddo who was sick. He called me from church excitedly, emphasizing he was ready and didn’t want to wait. I couldn’t argue with that, so I watched him go underwater through videos my husband and sweet friends in the congregation took. ⁣ ⁣On the day of his fifth-grade graduation, we found ourselves at the pediatrician’s office. Instead...

Keep Reading

Sometimes a Kid Just Needs a Sick Day

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy outside, color photo

My middle son stayed home from school today. He said he was sick. I’m not sure that is the truth. I was lucky enough to have a mom who was an amazing caretaker, especially when you were sick. She pulled out all the stops. A cozy clean space to be, a thermos with ice cold juice by your side, Mrs. Grass’s soup, and Days of Our Lives on the screen while she tidied up the house. It was the best feeling in the world to be home and cozy with my mom when I was sick. It felt cozy and...

Keep Reading

Sometimes We Need Someone to Just Sit With Us in Our Struggle

In: Kids, Motherhood
Sad woman sits on floor, black and white image

Early this morning, I told (yelled is more accurate) my sons to get up with the same furious ferocity I use every morning when I realize they should be ready to go, but are still unconsciously snoozing away. One son lazily said, “I’m up, Mom” (even though he was very much not up). The other son, who typically has no problems getting up, had overslept and immediately freaked out, thinking he would be late to school. He proceeded to have a mini-meltdown from the dark recesses of his bedroom. That overflowed into the hallway where I found him lying face-down,...

Keep Reading

Daughter of Mine, Do Not Let the World Extinguish Your Fire

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter, color photo

Daughter of mine, I see the fire behind your eyes. Do not let it die. Daughter of mine who runs wildly and loves freely and whose anger is always whipping silently just under the surface like a pilot light, ready to ignite with one tiny spark. Do not let it die. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine Daughter of mine, one day you will become a woman, and the world will try to steal you and mold you and tell you who to become. Do not let it. It will try to fit you in...

Keep Reading