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As a mom of all boys, I’m always hearing “He’s going to break some hearts one day,” and then I’m hearing, “It better not be my daughter’s heart he breaks or else.”

I’m so tired of hearing that.

Listen, my sons are each going to break a girl’s heart—probably more than one, and probably more than once.

No, I’m not raising them to be reckless with the feelings of others, but I am raising them to be real and honest and loving and kind. And the truth is, that means they will make mistakes—and one of those mistakes might be accidentally hurting your daughters’ feelings a time or two.

I wish you wouldn’t tell your daughters you’ll hurt the boys who break their hearts. I wish you wouldn’t let them think good boyfriends, future husbands, or real men are never going to break their hearts because they all will, and it won’t always be intentional. Sometimes, it will be accidental.

But that’s not what matters—what matters is what they do after.

You see, I’m raising sons who will break hearts . . . because they are human.

But I’m also raising sons who know what it looks like to ask for forgiveness, to try to do better the next time, to say “I’m sorry” and admit when they’ve done wrong. Sons who will break hearts—but will also help put back the pieces.

To say my sons will never break your daughters’ hearts would say my sons are perfect and they are not. Perfect doesn’t always make a good boyfriend and perfect doesn’t always make the best husband.

The best kind of boyfriends, husbands, and men are the kind filled with imperfections who have broken a few hearts, but also stood up, stuck around, and mended them along the way.

So I’m raising sons who will break hearts one day, but I’m also raising sons who won’t leave them broken.

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Nikki Pennington

Nikki is a stay at home mom to three, high spirited boys. Three years ago she became a motherless daughter after losing her own mom to terminal brain cancer. When she is not playing the role of referee for the boys, she spends her days trying to encourage and inspire others that are on the grief journey. Read more from Nikki on her blog: http://www.grieftohope.blogspot.com/

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