I lay here typing this with one hand because you’ve fallen asleep holding my hand, and I can’t bring myself to take it back just yet. Because I know that someday, you won’t need (or maybe even want) to hold my hand while you fall asleep.

But right now, you still do.

There will be a night in the not-so-distant future where you don’t need me to sing “Down in the Valley” or “You are my Sunshine” on loop until you fall asleep.

But right now, you still do.

Right now, you love to play hard. Running until you’re rosy cheeked and sweaty. I know some day you won’t yell, “Mommy, watch this!” while I watch you race around our front yard. Or look in my direction before you do something brave that scares you just a little bit.

But right now, you still do.

I know you won’t always need a chair to reach the shelf with snacks or need me to get down the glass for you to fill your water cup. You won’t need me to comb your hair or ask me to gel your hair into a mohawk. You won’t want to wear matching shoes with daddy or beg him to get a dinosaur shirt to match yours.

But right now, you still do.

I get teary when I think that there will be a day you don’t hop on the couch and say, “Mommy, want to snuggle?” You’ll be too cool for me, at least for a little while, I’m sure. I know, though, that you will become the person I always knew you would—kind and smart and full of love for everyone around you. You won’t always need me to remind you of who you are.

But right now, you still do.

So instead of wishing these moments away, I’m going to soak them up today. I’ll take every tear, laugh, and smile with joy in my heart because I know these moments are truly fleeting. I know you’ll only be this little for a little while longer.

I won’t pretend it’s always sunshine, but I’ll choose to look at the good more today. Because I’ll love you always, my sweet one. And you may not always hug my neck, and give me infinite kisses, but right now, THANK GOD, you still do.

You may also like:

Dear Son, When You No Longer Want Kisses From Mama

Dear Son, You’re Not Done Needing Me Yet

Wait, I’m Not Ready For You to Grow Up Yet

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Sarah McClain

Sarah is a Believer, wife to her favorite bearded man, and mama of two. She loves iced coffee, the enneagram, and reading (almost as much as she loves to write). She wants to see women walk in the freedom of knowing Who they belong to, without shame or fear holding them back.

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