Our Biggest Sale of the Year is Here!🎄 ➔

Whether you stay at home, work at home, work away or maybe even live away from your children, if you are a parent, chances are, honey you’re exhausted.

Are we really even comparing jobs at this point? Here’s the thing, even if your child is the holy grail of all good sleepers, eaters and in-betweeners, you. are. still. tired.

Why? Because a tiny, or not so tiny human has no idea what this world is, and is looking to you to show them the ins and outs of, well everything. On top of that, as if we had the mental capacity to handle tiny legs running around us while also balancing feeding pets, vacuuming endless piles of crumbs, cleaning up cat vomit, cleaning up poopy diapers, cooking wholesome and delicious meals for the whole family, finding time to shave your legs, finding time to shave anything else, as well as being a good partner and lover . . . on top of ALL of that you also have to be present and in love with the magical being you helped create.

At the end of the day, we’re not mad at our kids, or the pets, or the dirty kitchen, or the long commute, or even the guy in front of us who is taking way too long ordering coffee. We’re mad because we don’t want to be mentally drained. We don’t understand why there isn’t a bottomless supply of energy in our bodies or brains.

We all just want to be good parents.

We want to be engaged with the people around us and involved in the little moments. We want to wrestle on the floor or run around outside without thinking about how long bath time will take.

We want to be there when our babies have teething fevers and will only be comforted by cuddling for three hours. We want our kids to feel safe and like they have somewhere to turn when they need help.

We want to give our kids and spouses the best parts of us.

And it makes us angry and confused when the best parts go to mediating conflicts between colleagues, sitting in stand still traffic for 45 minutes, meal prepping five different meals then having a mountain of dishes to wash, watching laundry pile up because you didn’t have time to put it all away AGAIN.

We get tired of sorting through our own mental health, trying to just be OK and not let depression run our emotions. We get tired of anxiety talking to us before we go to sleep, walking us down the long road of “what-ifs” and things we cannot control. Our spirits get weary going through daily life. Maybe we have a good circle of friends we can rely on, or maybe a lot of the time we just feel isolated and forgotten.

The worst part is that although we wish we could keep all these things separated, a lot of times we emotionally throw up on the people we love most. Or, if we can keep things in their proper place long enough, by the time the kids go to bed we feel too mentally pooped to do anything but sit in front of a screen.

Maybe this isn’t everyone’s lives, but I have to believe I’m not alone in this. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if my daughter is a good sleeper or not. The fact of the matter is, I’m just one woman, who a lot of the time still feels like a girl.

I don’t have it all together.

Heck I feel like I’m constantly asking God to help me not repeat mistakes, not put my issues on people who just deserve love, and please remind me when my taxes are due.

I think the only answer I have found is that we have to continue to not have it all together. Would it be great if we could find the remedy to all of our financial, physical, emotional, mental and social needs? Well yeah, but while we’re waiting on that to show up—it’s OK to not always have an endless supply of energy. It’s OK to not ALWAYS have your checks and balances in order. It’s OK to still hurt, and need grace.

It’s OK to not always be OK.

Because that is what real life is. Realizing when you’re giving too much to areas that don’t deserve it, and cutting back on those things. Giving every day another shot, and accepting the fact you don’t have to have it all together.

You may also like:

This is Why Moms Are So Exhausted

I Love My Husband, But He Rarely Gets the Best of Me

To the Mom Who Seems to Have it All Together

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Anna Colley

I’m a wife of five years and momma to a fifteen month old girl. I love laughing, a good conversation and anything that stirs my spirit up.

Sometimes Growth Is Tangible, and When It Is You Hold On Tight

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom putting bike helmet on child

I never expected my sign to come in the form of a plastic bag. As a parent, you’re told over and over how fast it all goes, to cherish these times because they’re gone in a blink. You see the gradual changes in your kids as they move through milestones. One day, they can hold their own spoon. They begin stringing words into sentences. Their ages are counted in years and no longer months. You watch these things happen every day, but I didn’t realize some transitions would come in tangible ways, like a grocery bag filled with wet swim...

Keep Reading

Some Nights They Need You a Little More

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sleeping, color photo

Some nights they need you a little more, mama. Because of the bad dreams or the bogeyman they are adamant is under the bed. Because firefighter daddy’s schedule leaves him missing goodnight tuck-ins and bedtime stories several times a week, sometimes leaving them a little needier and more emotional. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. RELATED: I’ll Lay With You As Long As You Need, My Child Because they are sick. Because they feel safe in your presence. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. It’s not always easy. It’s not always (okay, hardly ever)...

Keep Reading

Sweet Babies, I’ll Be There

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two children lying in bed, color photo

When your world is calm and peaceful, I’ll be there. When your world is chaotic like an ice cream shop on the hottest day of summer, I’ll be there. When you need a Band-Aid applied and a boo-boo kissed, I’ll be there. When you want to perform in your Frozen microphone like you’re performing for a crowd of 20,000 people, I’ll be there. When you feel lost and alone, I’ll be there. When you feel you have nowhere to go, I’ll be there. RELATED: I Will Always Be There When You Need Me, My Son When you need a pep...

Keep Reading

I’m in the Big Little Years

In: Kids, Motherhood
black and white photo of little boy and little girl standing in a window together

I’m in the big little years. It’s when you’re no longer in the tender season of babies and toddlers—those sweet, smothering, exhausting years of being constantly touched and needed . . . . . . but you’re not yet in the big kid years—navigating boyfriends and driver’s licenses and bracing your heart for the impending ache of an empty nest. I’m somewhere in between. I’m in the years of having littles that aren’t so little anymore, but still need you for so much. They have big feelings. Big ideas. Big dreams. But they have mostly little problems (even though they...

Keep Reading

1-Year-Olds Are Wonderful

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
1 year old baby smiling

Newborns—who doesn’t love them?  The captivating scent of a brand new baby, their fragile little bodies laying so delicately on your chest. Everything that comes with a newborn baby is just absolute magic. But have you ever had a 1-year-old? I used to think the newborn phase was my favorite, nothing could ever be better than having such a tiny helpless little human rely on you for absolutely everything. I could hold my newborn for hours, soaking in every tiny little detail before it became nothing but a beautifully distant memory. But I’ve realized it’s 1-year-olds who have a special...

Keep Reading

My Kids Are All in School Now and It’s a Little Lonely

In: Kids, Motherhood
Woman looking out window alone

I had just dropped my children off at school. All of them. My youngest has just started full-time. It was my first full day on my own since she began, and I had really been looking forward to it, so I took myself into town to do a bit of shopping and grab a coffee. Just me. The kind of days dreams are made of, right? I could suddenly breathe again.  I only had myself to answer to.  I got my latte and something to eat. And then I cried.  My eyes filled with tears as I sat in the...

Keep Reading

I Love You Even When I Say I Don’t

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter touch foreheads

“I love you even when I say I don’t.” These words came out of nowhere from my 5-year-old. I was standing in the bathroom with her (we still don’t like to go potty without mommy standing right there), and she wouldn’t look at me while talking to me. You see, my 5-year-old and I have been in more spouts than ever before. She’s found this new attitude in her first couple months of kindergarten, coming home with new phrases including, “No, I don’t want to–you do it.” It hurts my heart, makes me frustrated, and leaves me asking myself where...

Keep Reading

Big Questions at Bedtime Don’t Require Perfect Answers

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and child at bedtime

Last night at bedtime, my son asked why everyone has to die one day. The thought of my sweet 7-year-old grappling with the weight of such a question hurt my heart. He looked so small tucked under a fleece blanket, clutching his favorite stuffed panda. How could the same little boy who just started second grade wearing a space backpack stuffed with bright, wide-ruled notebooks ask such a thing?  Perhaps my children are more aware of the inevitability of death than other kids their age due to the passing of various family pets over the past few years, or perhaps...

Keep Reading

If Someone Needs a Friend, Be a Friend

In: Friendship, Kids, Motherhood
Three kids with backpacks, color photo

“If someone needs a friend, be a friend” it’s the running joke in our family. My husband will say the phrase to our four kids when discussing certain life situations in a lovingly mocking type way. They’ll all look at me and chuckle. I giggle a little myself at the corniness of it. But I always add, “It’s true.” It’s a phrase I’ve used more times than I can count. To teach them all to be includers—the kind of kids who look for the kid having a bad day and seek to brighten it, the kind of kids who stand...

Keep Reading

I Hope My Daughter Always Hears My Voice

In: Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
Toddler girl putting on sock, color photo

“Dots on bottom. Stretch over toes,” she mutters to herself while independently putting on her tiny toddler socks. I must have said those words to her about a thousand times and responded to “Mama, help” even more . . . modeling how to correctly put them on until the moment she finally pushed me away and insists on executing this task herself. When I believe I sound like a broken record, what I’m actually doing, as it turns out, is imparting wisdom . . . “Uh oh, try again,” she declares when her tower topples. “Chew first, then talk,” she...

Keep Reading