Whether you stay at home, work at home, work away or maybe even live away from your children, if you are a parent, chances are, honey you’re exhausted.
Are we really even comparing jobs at this point? Here’s the thing, even if your child is the holy grail of all good sleepers, eaters and in-betweeners, you. are. still. tired.
Why? Because a tiny, or not so tiny human has no idea what this world is, and is looking to you to show them the ins and outs of, well everything. On top of that, as if we had the mental capacity to handle tiny legs running around us while also balancing feeding pets, vacuuming endless piles of crumbs, cleaning up cat vomit, cleaning up poopy diapers, cooking wholesome and delicious meals for the whole family, finding time to shave your legs, finding time to shave anything else, as well as being a good partner and lover . . . on top of ALL of that you also have to be present and in love with the magical being you helped create.
At the end of the day, we’re not mad at our kids, or the pets, or the dirty kitchen, or the long commute, or even the guy in front of us who is taking way too long ordering coffee. We’re mad because we don’t want to be mentally drained. We don’t understand why there isn’t a bottomless supply of energy in our bodies or brains.
We all just want to be good parents.
We want to be engaged with the people around us and involved in the little moments. We want to wrestle on the floor or run around outside without thinking about how long bath time will take.
We want to be there when our babies have teething fevers and will only be comforted by cuddling for three hours. We want our kids to feel safe and like they have somewhere to turn when they need help.
We want to give our kids and spouses the best parts of us.
And it makes us angry and confused when the best parts go to mediating conflicts between colleagues, sitting in stand still traffic for 45 minutes, meal prepping five different meals then having a mountain of dishes to wash, watching laundry pile up because you didn’t have time to put it all away AGAIN.
We get tired of sorting through our own mental health, trying to just be OK and not let depression run our emotions. We get tired of anxiety talking to us before we go to sleep, walking us down the long road of “what-ifs” and things we cannot control. Our spirits get weary going through daily life. Maybe we have a good circle of friends we can rely on, or maybe a lot of the time we just feel isolated and forgotten.
The worst part is that although we wish we could keep all these things separated, a lot of times we emotionally throw up on the people we love most. Or, if we can keep things in their proper place long enough, by the time the kids go to bed we feel too mentally pooped to do anything but sit in front of a screen.
Maybe this isn’t everyone’s lives, but I have to believe I’m not alone in this. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if my daughter is a good sleeper or not. The fact of the matter is, I’m just one woman, who a lot of the time still feels like a girl.
I don’t have it all together.
Heck I feel like I’m constantly asking God to help me not repeat mistakes, not put my issues on people who just deserve love, and please remind me when my taxes are due.
I think the only answer I have found is that we have to continue to not have it all together. Would it be great if we could find the remedy to all of our financial, physical, emotional, mental and social needs? Well yeah, but while we’re waiting on that to show up—it’s OK to not always have an endless supply of energy. It’s OK to not ALWAYS have your checks and balances in order. It’s OK to still hurt, and need grace.
It’s OK to not always be OK.
Because that is what real life is. Realizing when you’re giving too much to areas that don’t deserve it, and cutting back on those things. Giving every day another shot, and accepting the fact you don’t have to have it all together.
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