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Life With Nonverbal Autism is Often a Guessing Game

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By Chrystal Venator

mother kissing son — Image via Chrystal Venator

I write a lot about my son being nonverbal. It is the most frustrating and challenging part of dealing with his autism for me. He was diagnosed on the autism spectrum at 21 months. The reality is that my son is almost five years old and cannot tell me things. There’s so much I want to know and so much he could share with me.

I wish my son could tell me about his day.

I wish my son could share his dreams with me.

I wish when my son cried he had words to tell me why.

I wish my son could tell me when he’s sick and doesn’t feel well or when something hurts.

I wish my son could ask me to buy him things.

I wish my son could tell me what his favorite color or song is, his true likes and dislikes.

I wish he could tell me if someone is mean to him or hurts his feelings.

RELATED: I’ll Do the Talking For You

I wish my son could ask to play a game, go to the mall, or stay up late.

I wish my son could tell me silly jokes and stories about how he is Batman or Spider-Man.

I wish my son could ask me for hugs, kisses, and cuddles.

I wish I was more confident in my son going off without me.

I wish I knew exactly what he wanted and exactly how he’s feeling.

I wish that life with nonverbal autism wasn’t such a guessing game. I wish I didn’t feel like a detective all the time, trying to use his body language and facial expressions to try to figure things out.

I wish there was more certainty than doubt.

I wish that when my son was upset, I didn’t have to go through a mental checklist—a series of questions to determine the root of the problem.

Is he hungry?

Is he sick?

Does he have a fever?

Is he injured?

The list goes on.

I wish I could say our days are easy, and we rarely struggle.

But, I can say this . . . I love my son UNCONDITIONALLY!

I know we will always be OK.

I know we will find a way to grant all those wishes. Yes, you read that right.

I believe he will communicate all those things I’m wishing for.

I know as he grows, he will learn more, do more, and gain more skills. He will learn his letters, to read and spell. If he can’t find his words, he will type them or use pictures and symbols to communicate.

RELATED: Before I Knew Autism

If the past is any indication of the future, we will climb this gigantic mountain. We may stumble. We may slide and fall. We may be exhausted and drained. But, we will never give up, and we will do all those things, cross off all these wishes, and do even more than I ever could imagine.

I hope.

I believe.

I know.

Faith can move mountains (Matthew 17:20).

Originally published on the author’s blog

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Chrystal Venator

I am a proud wife, ASD Mom, Step-Mom and Pug Mom. In January 2017, at 21 months, my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. He is 5 years old and non-verbal. Since his diagnosis, I have become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I am 1000% focused on raising autism awareness and helping my son live a full and fun life. You can follow our journey at Stalen’s Way www.facebook.com/StalensWay

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Life With Nonverbal Autism is Often a Guessing Game

I wish when my son cried he had words to tell me why.

RELATED: I’ll Do the Talking For You

I wish my son could ask me for hugs, kisses, and cuddles.

I believe he will communicate all those things I’m wishing for.

RELATED: Before I Knew Autism

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Chrystal Venator

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Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

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Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

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So God Made a Mother

Life With Nonverbal Autism is Often a Guessing Game

I wish when my son cried he had words to tell me why.

I wish my son could ask me for hugs, kisses, and cuddles.

I believe he will communicate all those things I’m wishing for.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Ask For the Playdate

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

Ellis and the Puffers

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

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