I see you. I see you at work. I see you at church. I see you at the store. I see the way you look at the other moms. I see the look you give the frazzled mom trying to calm the screaming toddler, wishing you had that chance. I see you smile even though inside you are broken. I see you.
I cry for you. I scream for you. I pray for you. I may be a total stranger, but I want you to know you are not alone. You are on a painful and tragic journey, but you are loved and so is your child!
As Mother’s Day has come and gone again this year, I want you to remember these few things:
You ARE a Mom
No matter if your journey comes from infertility, pregnancy, infant, adolescent, or adult child loss: you are a mom! You love your child and no one should be able to tell you that you are not a mom. You carried your child, maybe only for a short time, physically or in your heart. You understand how deep a mother’s love is from the moment you plan for and know about your little peanut!
It’s OK to Grieve Your Way
You may be a crier. You may be a talker. You might be a screamer. You need to release the grief of losing your child in your own way. And that is OK! It is a process and no two people will follow that process the same way. You will know what feels right and what works for you.
It’s OK to Honor Your Child
Part of the grieving process is figuring out how to honor your child and keep their memory alive. Some people set up foundations and charities, while others have a special spot of their home with memory items that they look at daily. Find your way and embrace it.
You Are Being Prayed For
Total strangers along with family and friends are praying for you! I am sure other moms that have gone through a loss are some of your biggest prayer warriors. They understand the hurt you are going through. So when you feel a sense of peace and as much understanding as you can have at times, it is because others are praying for you and your family.
You Can Ask For Help
It might be hard, but ask! Let someone do your dishes. Let another fold laundry. Let the ladies from church or your community group bring you dinner. You need time to grieve and not worry about the little things!
This one might be tricky for some, but you need to celebrate! You are a mom! So as future Mother’s Days come and go, celebrate the fact that you are a mom! You might have a good cry or a glass of wine. You might go out to dinner with your loved ones or have some quiet time to honor your little one. Celebrate! No matter how you choose to do so, do it! If you forget why you are celebrating, go back to the top of the list of things I want you to remember!
A Total Stranger