I have about 40 or more saved voicemail messages in my phone from my mom and dad, (mostly my mom since she calls me more often). 

I started doing this last year. 

I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, I just stopped deleting their messages.  

And then when my voicemail box was full and I strategically deleted all messages except those from my mom and dad, it hit me what I was doing. 

Part of me is preparing for the day they are no longer here to leave me voicemail messages.  

Because as your parents approach 80, things change in so many ways. 

RELATED: My Parents Are Aging and I Worry

You hold on to every moment with them. 

There’s never enough time with them. 

You want to capture everything about them

You don’t want to forget anything. 

You want to hear all their stories. 

The stories about you that only they know. 

You stop giving them advice about how they should live their life. 

You don’t comment on how they only drink coffee all day and no water. 

You just appreciate everything about them and everything they are. 

You are just so grateful they are still here with you. 

RELATED: Getting To Know My Mother

So for now, every time I look at my voicemail messages on my phone, I feel both joy and grief. 

Seeing all the saved messages from my parents. 

Knowing one day I will listen to these voice messages on repeat to feel closer to them.

But for today, I get to call them and hear them answer.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Kelley Friedland

Kelley embraces her motherhood journey through writing. She started writing when her son was born because he would sleep on her all the time and writing was quiet and didn't wake him but let her express all she was feeling. She is passionate about the sharing that happens from writing and reading the words of others. Kelley lives in Nevada with her husband, son, and dog Huey.

As My Dad’s Words Fade Away, His Wisdom Echoes in My Heart

In: Grief, Grown Children
Woman with hand on elderly man's hand

My father has Alzheimer’s. He’s in the middle stage of the disease. He still recognizes his wife and all six of his adult children. He has moments of complete clarity where he will hear a joke and immediately laugh at the punchline. He will see my mom in pain and go to offer her comfort. But he has moments of profound lapses in memory too. He can no longer make his favorite breakfast of oatmeal that he’s prepared for himself for the last 30 years because he simply can’t recall how to make it. My mom will ask him for...

Keep Reading

Walking Mother Home

In: Grown Children
Elderly woman holds hands with daughter

I call my sister for another update on Mom. Last week had been my week to help out. Our mother lives in her own home in Battle Ground, Washington on the property she and my father bought together—their personal version of the American dream. My sister Kari and her son Dane live with her and provide most of her care since her stroke several months ago. My sister took intermittent FMLA (Family Medical Leave of Absence) and was able to decrease her work hours, but her leave is running out. My nephew took a reduction in hours from his job delivering...

Keep Reading

I Am Two Moms: One To My Children and One To My Aging Mother

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Woman, her mother, and her children, black-and-white photo

I have two young boys, ages seven and two. I am their momma. My own mother is not well, and I am her momma too—not in name, but in responsibility. I am two moms. I’m sure this role reversal is a familiar story in many homes—moms taking care of their own littles as well as their aging parents. At some point, we went from being cared for, to caring for everyone else. It’s a transition you don’t really notice until you are knee-deep in tasks. Washing sippy cups and navigating dementia. My mother is 59 years old. An age when...

Keep Reading