A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I thought I had somehow misunderstood.

The story had appeared on my Twitter feed, hooked me in, and now I was struggling to understand.

Could she actually mean that?

A celebrity had appeared on a talk show to promote something-or-other, and in the course of her interview, she had stated that women are smarter than men. Hmm . . . OK. This already bothered me, because I hate the idea that in order to validate our own gender, we have to diminish the other. But what came next infuriated me. To substantiate her claim, this famous woman used her own children as a case study, comparing her daughter’s development to that of her son. You can do your own googling if you want to read her exact quotes. In one portion, she compared him to a Neanderthal.

Well . . . 

The truth is, I would love to heap all the blame on this movie star, but this destructive narrative didn’t start with her. So who did start it? This push toward labelling our boys as “less than” in an effort to lift up our daughters? Who thought this could possibly be a good idea?

Not me, that’s for sure.

Moms of boys, I’m talking to you from here on out. To the fearless ladies who take on the task of raising up men, who fight to understand them and nurture them and love them because of who they are, not in spite of it. So let’s get a few things straight:

My son is smart. Super smart. I have a son and a daughter, and no, they do not learn and grow in the same way or at the same pace. That has absolutely nothing to do with my son’s intelligence. He comes out with things that blow my mind. Knowledge about outer space, animal descriptions galore, a hunger for as many chapter books as I can bring into the house. He often asks me how to say things in French and repeats them carefully.

In the same way women rock the world, so do men. They invent things, found companies, lead nations, fight injustice, make a difference. Maybe you’ve heard of Steve Jobs or Abraham Lincoln or Billy Graham? Yeah, they’re guys. We are raising boys who are destined for great things.

My son is complete. He is not some unknowable step down below female, longing mournfully for her logic and common sense. He is, in fact, very in-tune with the emotions and needs of the people in our home. He sees and understands things that were never explained to him. He is curious enough to ask questions, sweet enough to care how I feel about things. He is focused when he wants to reach a goal and understands when he needs to take a step back to make room for someone else.

My son is not a joke. Or a caricature. Lately, the standard media play on the image of a man is to make him the laugh track to a woman’s story. “Look at that bumbling idiot. What a fool.” Well, my son, this boy-soon-to-be-man is no fool.

Someday he may choose to be a husband or dad. And you better believe I will teach him that a man in those roles leads with love, is the best teammate and friend to his wife he can be, and is a very present and active source of support and strength to his kids. He is not someone who trips over ottomans, falls into chocolate fountains, or ogles the babysitter. He is a capable, kind man who understands and respects women- in part because of the encouragement I gave him from Day 1. Because I believed in him.

The thing is, I have been called a feminist since I was a teenager. I believe in my daughter so much it feels like my heart might burst. She will do whatever she sets out to in the world. Of that I have no doubt. AND. So will my son. He will take on his dreams, whatever they are, and I will do everything I can to cheer him on and support him. In every way that I support my daughter. I don’t have to push down one to lift up the other.

Because they are both important.

The world needs both of them. Equally.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Nicole M. Burrell

I have worked as a writer for the Newark Star-Ledger in New Jersey and as a Marketing Team Leader, with a focus on social media strategies, for Whole Foods Market. I currently work as a freelance writer, most recently publishing works with Reader's Digest. Instagram . Facebook . Twitter . Website .  Pinterest

Ask For the Playdate

In: Kids
Kids playing at park

When my only child was finishing up his first year of preschool a few years ago, I knew he would miss having friends to play with regularly over the summer. One day at pickup, he invited a friend from his class to come to our house.  His friend seemed interested. Her mom and I agreed it would be nice to have a playdate, but never really made plans as we were getting the kids to the car. I am not an outgoing person, and I always prefer someone else to ask me to do something, rather than being the one...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

In: Kids
Young girl reading picture book on mother's lap

The other day, my daughter said no. Not quietly. Not hesitantly.Just a simple, confident “no.” And for a moment, I saw it happen. That instinct so many of us were taught to ignore. That pause where girls start to second-guess themselves. But she didn’t shrink. And I realized…I’m not raising her the way I was raised. I was raised to be polite.To be agreeable.To not make things uncomfortable. And while those things sound harmless on the surface, they come with an unspoken lesson. One that a lot of us learned early, without even realizing it. Be easy.Be likable.Be quiet if...

Keep Reading

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

In: Kids
Mom and young son shooting off firework

This is for the moms who go above and beyond for their children, the “magic makers” and “childhood savers.” While moms are always giving boundless love and doing selfless acts for their kids, “extra” moms make motherhood sparkle. You constantly prioritize your child’s well-being and happiness—it is your number one focus. You are out there creating unforgettable moments that shape your family’s lives. You make birthdays unforgettable, complete with themes, elaborate food, and decorations, and lots of thought and loving time behind each to make every year as special as the last. You make each holiday a wonderland to behold...

Keep Reading

Ellis and the Puffers

In: Kids
Little boy holding dandelion puff flowers

Ellis is a dreamer, loves stories of every kind, library books, Star Wars, and all things magical. He especially loves stories from when his mom was little, and prefers that they be shared in her lap. One of his favorite stories from when his mom was a child is the one about puffers—dandelions that bring wishes, and the special square in the backyard that Grandpa left unmowed every year so Ellis’s mom and her big sister and two big brothers could always have access to their wish makers. Ellis made a point of gathering puffers every day on their walk...

Keep Reading

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

In: Kids
Child with wide smile and arms out behind her

Some kids don’t just say “no.” They mean it. They resist direction. They question instructions. They want to do things their own way, even when it would be easier to follow along. These children are often labeled as stubborn. But what if that behavior is not the problem? What if it is the beginning of something important? Strong-willed children are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to make sense of the world in their own way. They want to understand why something matters before they commit to it. When they are told what to do without explanation, they...

Keep Reading

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

In: Kids
Chair in office

Yesterday I went to urgent care. I had a sore throat, and my doctor had no openings. It was super disappointing because I actually had plans in the morning to see my grandson, and in the evening to go out of town for my sister’s birthday party. It was the rare occasion that everything was already set up. After my insanely long bout of pneumonia and being tethered to my nebulizer for so long, I was looking forward to it with enthusiasm. Of course, par for the course, life had other plans. Instead of being just a 24-hour nuisance, it...

Keep Reading

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

In: Kids
Child eating bagel

Imagine a theoretical college course designed for parents called Proper Family Mealtimes. The class focuses on the core ingredients required to have a truly connected meal: dinner etiquette, polite conversation, menu planning, and hosting. Backed by scientific research, parents will gain knowledge of simple yet practical steps to make mealtime meaningful again. My family would fail this course. When it comes to etiquette, shirts and formal seating are optional. My children pass on polite conversation, swapping in slang like “bruh” whenever possible. Our meal plan rotates between five kid favorites with the option to reject them all, at which point...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids
Family sitting on porch

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids
Robotics kid watching competition

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading