By Rebecca Wood 
The principal greeted me at the front door of his office and ushered me to a seat across from his desk. I glanced around the room and noticed my son slumped in another chair. He averted his eyes, only offering an apologetic frown, to which I responded with a limp wave.
“Do you know why I called you in?” the principal asked before explaining. He described the events of the day, which included my son’s malfeasance, a series of poor choices.
I wanted to hide under the desk and be anywhere other than the principal’s office. As I processed the entirety of the situation, I tried to gain perspective. While I would have never chosen the day’s actions, I could see the good from the circumstances. Even further, I saw this as an answer to prayer.
Let me explain.
Years ago, I had a Bible study leader who oozed wisdom. She was a little older than me with children further along in years than my boys. I frequently pestered her with parenting questions to which she patiently offered guidance. While I’ve forgotten many of the things she said in the time since, one piece of advice stuck with me: Always pray your boys get caught.
It seemed like an odd piece of wisdom, and perhaps even counterintuitive to what I want for my sons. Wouldn’t a better prayer be a life without difficulties, stress, or pain?
I asked my friend to explain her words, and she paused and gathered her thoughts.
“If they don’t get caught, you won’t know what to work with in their lives,” she said. “You want them to get caught when they are walking along the wrong track and under your roof so you can course correct and set them on the right path.”
I sat in awe of her insight and forethought.
In the years since, I’ve tried to recite this prayer daily. I’ve seen it answered, A LOT. Having my eyes opened to my children’s poor choices and wrongdoing has been painful. I’m often tempted to stop offering this prayer and instead gravitate toward a head-in-the-sand approach to parenting. However, really knowing what is going on with my children has led me to parent my boys better in the following ways.
I realize how to pray for this child.
When I truly know what’s going on with my child, I’m more aware of how to pray. I know what struggles need to be addressed in prayer. I can approach praying for my son more strategically and find God’s promises to stand upon.
I recognize how to parent this child better.
Uncovering misbehavior may mean making modifications in how I parent that child. My eyes may be open to a relationship that needs more boundaries. I may see a freedom that this son can no longer handle. I can engage in better conversations with my sons.
I can get my child any additional resources that may be needed.
When I know fully what’s going on with my child, I can have greater direction on any additional resources that may be needed. I can determine if my child needs counseling or pastoral care. I may explore a mentor or another adult who can speak into my child’s life. My eyes may be open to additional communication I need to have with the school.
Additionally, praying my kids get caught benefits them.
My kids know their actions have consequences.
When my kids get caught, they discover that their actions—good or bad—make a difference. They witness the impact their conduct has on other people, and any potential (or actual) harm it causes. My boys experience whatever repercussions occur due to their behavior, which can be humbling and even painful.
My kids experience unconditional love.
While I may not be happy about a difficult situation, I will still communicate my love for that son. I will share Bible verses about how we all are sinners, but that is why we have Jesus. I will remind my son that no sin will separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38-39), or from his parents’ love.
My kids will learn how to recover from mistakes.
When a son makes a mistake, it’s an opportunity to grow from the experience. They learn to apologize for their wrongdoings and the steps necessary to make amends. They glean how to restore relationships and walk forward differently and better.
As I sit in the principal’s office, I remember this experience is an answer to prayer and will yield good things for our entire family. We know what’s going on; now we need to work on next steps—so I keep praying this painful prayer.
by Tammi Landry-Gilder 
by Cheryl Donely 
