You Might Be A New Parent If…

If you can’t laugh at yourself now because it’s all still too raw and true. Then have a laugh with me at my expense, because being a new parent is seriously funny. So funny sometimes you could just cry and often do. 

 

You might be a new parent if…

You find yourself rocking an empty bouncer. 

 

You might be a new parent if…

You pour your morning cereal into your cup of hot tea instead of the bowl. 

 

You might be a new parent if…

You forget to button up your baby’s onesie before putting on his pants so you just button it up over his pants. Rockin the Superman look.

 

You might be a new parent if…

You hear fantom crying.

 

You might be a new parent if…

You cry angry monkey style tears after singing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” I can’t go any further or I’ll start crying again.

 

You might be a new parent if…

You start the walk with two socks and finish the walk with no socks.

 

You might be a new parent if…

You secretly argue with make believe people about breastfeeding in public.

 

You might be a new parent if…

You accidently waterproof your cloth diapers by using a petroleum based butt cream.

 

You might be a new parent if…

You have become amazingly ambidextrous. 

 

And finally you might be a new parent if…

You don’t see the practicality of getting dressed before you have been puked on or peed on at least once.

 

If all of these you might be a new parent if’s have you nodding YES with your sleep deprived head, then congratulations, you have just parent leveled up!

 

Now go treat yourself to some takeout and half a movie.

 

P.S. This blog was typed with one hand while breastfeeding.