The trend is to wait. We wait until the first trimester is finished and we are in the clear from most medical risks and any uncertainty in the pregnancy. It’s the social norm. And I find it to be ridiculous for a few simple reasons!

  1. It’s exciting. Getting pregnant is super exciting! When something exciting happens in my life, I want to share it with everyone that’s important to me, and shout it from the rooftops! I want to celebrate, and part of celebrating is including those around me. We don’t get our dream jobs and then wait to announce it for 12 weeks just in case it ends up not being a good fit or not working out. We announce it, and pregnancy shouldn’t be any different!
  2. I am so bad at keeping secrets. I have a hard enough time keeping little secrets that I actually want to surprise someone with, much less a HUGE secret like this. I feel awkward if I am not telling the people around me about something so important in my life. It feels weird, and dishonest. Not to mention, it’s down right stressful to keep such a secret, and this is not a time to be stressed. 
  3. The first trimester is NO fun. The first trimester is full of nausea, achiness, fatigue, and more. I’d much rather my friends and employer know what’s going on so they can be understanding and helpful instead of thinking I’m being flaky and wondering what’s up. 
  4. I want support. God forbid something does happen and we lose the baby early on- I have to say I do not want those close to me in the dark about this. I know I’d need all of the support that everyone has to offer. This is the real reason people say they don’t want to say anything until the first trimester is complete. And this to me, is one of the biggest reasons TO say something early on. No one should have to cope with this on their own, or even just with their partner. There’s something to be said for the type of support that our friends and family can give to us, that sometimes our husbands just aren’t capable of- no matter how hard they try, or how good their intentions are. They are guys, and sometimes that means they just don’t quite know how to help you through every single situation like your girl friends can. And even my acquaintances, my moms groups or strangers – I want them to know! I want them to know why I might suddenly be lost in thought, or even in tears one day during a play-date. And the most random connections can sometimes be just what you need. Maybe one of the moms in your group has been through this and knows just what to say. Maybe you’ll even grow and blossom a friendship because of your unfortunate connection. You just never know what can happen or what you might be missing out on if you don’t give everyone a chance.

Do what makes sense for you, of course. But don’t just follow the social norm just because. If you want to announce it early, go for it, Mama! Be proud, celebrate, and let those around you be a part of this momentous occasion in your life. It only happens a couple of times for most of us. Let’s trust each other for support. Let’s include each other in our celebrations. I peed on a stick one Saturday, met a mom for the first time Monday, and told her the news while our daughter’s played together. I’d never felt happier and I was so excited to share the news because it felt so good to say! Happy announcing! 

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Katrina Villegas

Katrina Villegas is a former process engineer and chemistry teacher turned stay at home mom. She is organizing her beautiful chaos one Babywise step at a time, and sharing her successes and trials along the way. When her daughter was just a few months old she started a blog: http://www.mamasorganizedchaos.com/. She's been recording her thoughts and stories, along with what she's learned, "how to" guides and more. You'll find everything from information on breastfeeding and cloth diapering, to using Babywise schedules, sleep training options, and discipline tips. She is also mom to a baby that earned her wings due to trisomy 13. You'll find raw, real emotions and how she's coping with her grief of losing a child. 

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