So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

School is out and fun is in! If this spring break finds you itching to indulge your wanderlust here are 7 helpful tips to create a road trip you won’t soon forget (even if you want to).

  1. Don’t do it. If your kids like to run through sprinklers, watch cartoons and play with neighborhood friends, then don’t go anywhere. Just don’t.
  2. Do not, I repeat, do not plan ahead and shop at your local grocery store, purchase snacks and neatly pack them in a cooler for your journey. Your weary travelers will not be interested in these snacks. Stop at gas stations along the way and let them choose from aisles of junk food. These snacks are sure to be superior to the exact same ones brought from home.
  3. Be sure to stock your car with oodles of charged screens, CDs, DVDs and brush up on the rules of “I Spy” before you go.
  4. RETA (Realistic Estimated Time of Arrival). Calculate in advance the amount of time it will realistically take to get to your destination. A good rule of thumb is to stop four times for every one hour you spend on the road. Potty breaks, food stops, car seat adjustment, he’s looking at me, we just ate but I’m hungry again are all productive reasons to pull off the road.
  5. Before you go, devise a list of responses to the question, “How much longer?” Your list can include a myriad of responses such as but not limited to: I don’t know, two minutes, yes, 274 days, maybe, ask your father, 36 hours, never and silence. Keep in mind that ignoring is also a form of answering. The possibilities are endless considering the fact that variations of “How much longer?” will be asked more than is humanly necessary so be prepared. It will surely spark your creative side.
  6. For the lucky ones with a “window” seat be sure to evenly apply sunscreen to half of the body closest to the sun. All that time in the car will most likely result in some strange tan lines.
  7. It is essential to pack nearly everything you own. No use in packing lightly, just throw it all in the back of the car. You will be glad and not glad you did.

Follow these 7 easy steps and you will be enjoying your road trip before you know it. At least until you threaten for the 469th time to turn the car around.

 

Amy Rondeau

Amy Rondeau grew up in southern California writing stories and talking too much. She strapped pointe shoes to her feet for five Nutcrackers and applied 3,742 eyelashes for various musical theatre performances. She currently uses her words at Herstory, Facebook and Storia as well as posting YouTube videos for her eleven adoring subscribers. She has moved around the globe with her military husband seven times in nine years and three people call her mom. Her greatest achievements in life include asking her doctor for selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, roller-skating and shopping for groceries online. Find her website here: https://www.facebook.com/Herstory-940052212708523/?fref=ts

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