The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

I’ll be in the middle of my morning routinebrewing coffee, letting the dog out, getting the kids’ breakfastwhen all of a sudden I’ll feel it creeping in: the overwhelm.

I’ll break up one more fight or be asked one more question, and it will hit me. I’ll go from opening a pureed fruit pouch to yelling. I’ll go from yelling to sighing loudly. I’ll feel my thoughts spiral and my chest tighten. I’ll try to take a deep breath, and then another thing will set me off. I’ll overreact and in the middle of it, realize what I’m doing. I’ll apologize. I’ll try to start over. I’ll hug my kids and kiss their cheeks.

Sometimes, the demands of motherhood sneak up on us.

RELATED: Being a Parent is Exhausting Even If Your Child Isn’t

I’ll be in the middle of making dinner, and my son will proudly hold up the picture he’s been coloring on the kitchen floor. I’ll smile over his scribbled sharks and puffed up fish, and then his sister will show me her bright curlicue paper. I’ll help place their drawings on the fridge, and I’ll feel it settling in my heart. The joy of this moment. I’d always wanted to hang kids’ creations on my fridge, but I never knew how sweet it would truly be until I had kids of my own.

Sometimes, the levity of motherhood sneaks up on us.

I’ll be in the middle of tidying my room when my freshly made bed will be overturned by a jumping 3-year-old and sprawling 2-year-old. I’ll order them off and smooth the rumpled blankets.

They’ll dart down the hallway to my son’s room where toys litter the floor like sprinkles on a cupcake. I’ll follow them down the hall, and while I stand in the doorway looking in on their disaster, it’ll hit me. The resigned frustration of having to clean it all up again. I’ll be thankful they gave me a break by playing together, but I’ll remember how I’d spent yesterday afternoon gathering up the same LEGOs, robots, and dinosaurs.

Sometimes, the repetition of motherhood sneaks up on us.

RELATED: A Mother’s Work Is Never Done—But Always Worth It

I’ll be in the middle of snuggling my toddlers on the couch while a show plays on Netflix when my son will turn and grin at me. My daughter will burrow closer, and I’ll adjust the blankets. I’ll feel their bodies warm up as they grow sweaty with sleep, and it will hit me. The indescribable wonder of being their mom. My eyes will well with tears as I look at their fluttering lashes and full cheeks. I’ll stroke their hair, and the memory of this moment will burrow deep into my heart.

Sometimes, the miracle of motherhood sneaks up on us.

I’ll be in the middle of bathing my kids when my daughter will slap the water and water will surge out of the bathtub. I’ll tell her to stop splashing and mop up the floor, and she’ll lean over the tub watching me, more water dripping down. I’ll pull them out, dry them off, and help them dresseven as they run away shrieking. I’ll make my way downstairs to get them one more snack before nap time, and it will hit me. Just how badly I need this break. I’ll tuck them into bed and pray with them, and then run downstairs to temporary freedom.

Sometimes, the exhaustion of motherhood sneaks up on us.

I’ll be in the middle of taking a break when I find myself opening up the photo album icon and scrolling through the thousands of pictures that clog up my phone’s memory. I’ll be transported to a single moment in timecompletely mesmerized once more by their smallness, feathery hair, and wrinkled feet. I’ll think about the way they smelled and the softness of their newborn skin. Then I’ll look over at the two toddlers laying on my living room carpet, and it will hit me. How much I’m going to miss this, and how I still can’t believe they are mine.

RELATED: I Hope I Loved You Enough Today

Sometimes, the soft memories of motherhood sneak up on us.

And when they sneak up, it’s OK to pause, to breathe, even cry.

This journey is beautiful and so hard, but we’re better for it.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Rachel Weidner

I'm a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home writer, coffee drinker, and book hoarder. I love taking pictures and eating chocolate. Writing helps me stay sane, so I blog about motherhood, marriage, faith, and everything in between. You can find me on Facebook at Forever Dreaming Writing by Rachel or on Instagram at @foreverdreamingwritngbyrachel.

Soon There Will Be No More Breakfasts To Make

In: Grown Children, Motherhood, Teen
Ten boy eating breakfast at kitchen counter

T-minus 44 days until a new beginning- Math has never been my strong suit or my favorite subject, but it will be about 19 years spent rising and trying to shine in our house. Nineteen years of prepping one, two, or all three of our sons to get up and ready for school. Nineteen years of making breakfast. Nineteen years of making lunches. For those of you in the thick of it right now, you know exactly what I mean. I think my husband Steve and I have it down to a science now. If we had to do it...

Keep Reading

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother with three grown daughters

During my oldest daughter’s freshman year of college, I started being haunted by a recurring dream of an old-fashioned suitcase—one of those hard-sided ones that’s as big as they come. In the dream, when I open the suitcase, it’s overflowing with clothing, shoes, and all kinds of stuff that belongs to me and each of my three daughters. Everything in the suitcase is all jumbled together. Nobody else in the dream is worried about sorting through everything, but I am totally stressed about it. To top it all off, I have to deal with this suitcase while preparing for a...

Keep Reading

The Half-Dressed Mom and Love in the Details

In: Motherhood
Woman sitting with coffee cup and book on bed

I am a proper mom. Not fancy, not prim—practical. I am dressed for the time of day, always. That is simply who I am. Except for this morning. This morning I was in a towel, bracing the bathroom counter, writhing in pain, and trying not to scream loud enough to disturb the neighbors. I had seen a specialist just the day before. He’d said I needed six weeks to heal before they could do further exploration. What he hadn’t said—what I hadn’t understood—was how much the healing itself would hurt. My 23-year-old daughter, Aislyn, found me like that. Panicked. Half-dressed....

Keep Reading

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

In: Kids, Motherhood
Boy sitting in middle of toys smiling

With four kids at three different schools, our days are full. Between sports practices, music lessons, clubs, rehearsals, games, meets, and playdates, it feels like we’re constantly heading somewhere. I love that my children are involved in activities, but occasionally, it’s nice to have some downtime. When I get a text or email that a practice has been canceled, it’s usually a huge relief. Last week, after-school sports were cancelled due to heavy rain. When I picked up my youngest son from school, I told him we’d be going straight home for the rest of the afternoon. He looked surprised....

Keep Reading

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

In: Kids, Motherhood

I have a confession: Yesterday I let my 11-year-old play with fire. Like literally. We live in the country, there is still wet snow on the ground, and he’s done it with his dad at least 20 times. But yesterday was the fifth consecutive day of no school, and probably the twentieth consecutive day of him asking to have a small fire without dad. Part of me did it out of laziness. Part of me did it out of selfishness. And part of me did it out of nostalgia. Here’s the thing—when I was 11, I was already babysitting (like...

Keep Reading

God Carries Me Through the Deep Waters of Change

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman at the beach as waves come in

“Ahhh!” My underwater scream garbled in my snorkel tube as the manta ray’s cavernous mouth swept a hand’s distance from my face. My fingers tightened around the surfboard until my knuckles ached. My arms trembled. I jerked my head side to side, searching for my daughters, Mia and Megan. Recent college graduates, they had joined me on one last mother-daughter vacation before launching their adult lives. They floated easily on the vibrant Hawaiian water, relaxed, trusting. I wanted to borrow their calm. Earlier, our guide had explained that the LED lights built into the surfboard attracted plankton the way college...

Keep Reading

Faith After a Rare Disease Diagnosis

In: Faith, Motherhood
Family smiling in posed photo

My pastor frequently speaks of “kid pain” and acknowledges there’s nothing like it. I can testify to that. After nine months of uncertainty and unexplained issues following the birth of our now 4-year-old daughter, Harlow, we finally received her diagnosis of Pyruvate Dehydrogenase Complex Deficiency (PDCD), a life-limiting mitochondrial disease with no cure and no FDA-approved treatments. It was heartbreaking. In moments like these, a parent can fall into complete desperation. You go through a range of emotions almost too fast to name: fear for your child’s life; anxiousness about how much time you’ll get with them; overwhelming grief. And...

Keep Reading

Good Mothers Bake from Scratch, and Other Lies I’ve Believed

In: Motherhood
Smiling women in selfie outside

I am standing at the kitchen counter, spooning banana mix into a muffin tin, when my daughter makes a proposal. “How about dis . . . ?” Presley begins, pausing for dramatic effect. “How about I put four chocolate chips on each muffin because dat’s how old I am?” I smile at her logic. Once every pink polka-dotted liner is filled with batter and topped with exactly four chocolate chips, I place both tins on the middle rack and set a timer. Presley runs out of the room and returns with her plastic step stool, placing it directly in front...

Keep Reading

My ‘Dusty Son’ is 5

In: Living, Motherhood
Little boy holding out dandelion bouquet

As moms, we categorize everything. Girl mom. Boy mom. Wine mom. Outdoor mom. Farm mom. City mom. Now there’s been an uptick in social media trends about exposing our girls to worldly and fancy experiences so someday they’re “not impressed by your dusty son.” I won the parenting jackpot (in my humble opinion) and have an older daughter and a younger son. He’s five. Not a grown man making real-world decisions. Not a college kid learning how to adult. He’s five. He loves dinosaurs and Mario. His big sissy and his Great Dane. He is incapable of cruelty and is...

Keep Reading

These Little Moments Are Everything

In: Motherhood
Mother embracing young child who is kissing her cheek

I almost missed it, my little one. How your eyebrows lift in quiet concentration as you carefully place each block, adding a new wall to your tiger castle. The way you say “scoop over, mom” and shuffle closer to me until our legs touch. “Just one second, bud.” The mantra of all busy moms. I almost missed your blonde hair flying wild as you bounce on the trampoline, that belly laugh that makes the whole world feel soft. I almost missed it. How you close your eyes as you crack the biggest, cheekiest smile when I tickle your belly, giggling...

Keep Reading