By Holly Dignen 
Pick and choose your battles. Not everything is worth the fight. Sometimes, you’ve got to be like Elsa and let it go. If your kid is playing quietly and you found some peace and quiet for a few minutes, maybe just let them play a few extra minutes on their tablets. Every once in a while ice cream before dinner or for dinner is just fine. Is it the end of the world if your kid goes to school with mismatched socks because they couldn’t find a matching pair? Absolutely not. Most trivial things can be let go. I promise, it will save you your sanity.
Kid math: The newborn stage lasts 35 years and ages 1-10 (and up) last a millisecond. I swear, I counted the hours until I could sleep again during the newborn stages for both of my boys. It felt like the clock did not move at all. I was so tired, hungry, sleep-deprived, emotional, exhausted, overwhelmed, and in need of sleep. (Did I mention I needed sleep?) Then, within an instant, my oldest turned 10. There were no more diapers to change. No more every 1.5-3 hour wake-ups. No more major blowouts or spit-up on every clothing item I owned. But, there were also no more baby coos, no more milestones like rolling over, smiling, and scaring the crap out of me while learning to climb the steps. It’s as if time stood still and then sped up in the blink of an eye. Who knew? The older generations were right . . . cherish the moments (every moment is a bit extreme, kids can be jerks) because they aren’t little forever.
Your children are not the same, so you will not parent them the same way. My older son responds well to sticker charts and visible or tangible instant gratification (aka bribery). My younger son needs clear and logical explanations of everything. Therefore, the techniques used to discipline my children are different because they are.
Don’t underestimate the value of quality time with your children at any age. Children, of course, want toys and things to play with, but their favorite toy will always be you. You are the end-all be-all for your kids. They want you to craft with them, read with them, watch movies with them, play board games, etc. It doesn’t have to be all the time, just make a conscious effort to put your own electronics down (something, I often have to remind myself), and they will be extra thankful for the undivided attention you’re giving.
Stop comparing your children to other children! Every child has their strengths and their weaknesses. No child will be exactly at the same level in everything at the same time. Why? Because children are unique and there is no one size fits all for them. Each child needs to be able to embrace their own strengths, not someone else’s. Milestones are guidelines. They are not requirements. Some children will get to milestones earlier, some later, some right on the money, and some not at all. Regardless, it doesn’t negate the value and importance of your child.
Being a good human trumps having straight As—every single time. Not all children learn the traditional way. In fact, there are 3-8 different learning styles, depending on which learning style theory you choose. That means your child may not learn by simply having a teacher tell them. They may need movement, auditory, and/ or visual instruction. Children who receive Bs and Cs often work just as hard or harder than those who learn the traditional way. What’s more important is how your child treats other people. Being a good human being and thinking of others is such a beautiful gift in a world that revolves around individual needs and wants.
Manners and kindness go a long way. This is basically a follow-up to being a good human. If you teach your children one thing in this world, teach them manners and kindness. Saying please, thank you, excuse me, and you’re welcome will keep your children humble. It will remind them that other people matter too. This will help us all create a better world for our children, grandchildren, and future generations.
Not everyone deserves kindness. Another follow-up, sometimes it’s okay to be mean. Unfortunately, there are a lot of crappy and creepy people in this world. Sometimes these people try to hurt children and others mentally and physically. Safety comes before kindness. This is a learned skill. Teach your kids about tricky people and act out situations so they know how to handle a tricky person. Practice how to determine when someone is not a good person so your children can stay safe.
Sometimes you’re going to be a crappy mom. It’s true. There will be days when you have just had enough and lost all of your patience. There will be days you didn’t get enough sleep, the coffee pot was dirty, and you didn’t have time to wash it in time to leave for work. There will be days when your kids’ voices sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. There will be days you wish the word “Mommy” was deleted from your children’s vocabulary. There will be days your heart is heavy and you just cannot be a good mom. All of this is normal. Moms are humans too. We get burnt out and need to recharge. None of this means we don’t love our kids; it means we love them so much we need a break every once in a while.
You’re doing a great job and you’re children are uniquely perfect for you and vise versa. Yep! That’s it. You are the perfect mother for your children. You know about how your son doesn’t like his food touching. You know about how your daughter likes her hair braided. You know about their favorite movies, favorite video games, and favorite stuffed animals. You know these things because you love your children and they love you. No matter the struggles, the meltdowns, the whining, and the tears . . . you love your children and it’s the most rewarding job you will ever have because hugs and unconditional love will always outweigh all other tangible honors.
by Kayci Villarreal 
by Deepa Kadavakat 
by Charissa West 
