Should I be enjoying this more? I wondered to myself as I sat in the car solo, a rare moment during a typical hectic weekend. My two kids, ages four and six, were finishing their jujitsu class with their dad, and I decided to fuel up the car during that time as a break. Looking at the clock and seeing their class was coming to an end, my heart sank. On to the next activity.
Like most families we know, weekends are busy. They are filled with playdates, sports practices, and hopefully, a few errands in between to make the workweek not so stressful. But am I the only one who feels more drained after a weekend? I can’t be the only one who eagerly looks forward to Monday. The workweek starts, and although I have a full-time job, it’s remote. I can sit at home in silence with my hot coffee that never makes a peep, and I can breathe. It’s also a time when I can choose, for the most part, how to structure my day. That little bit of autonomy is wonderful!
Like most moms, we struggle with the delicate balance between rest the weekend should allow us and activities our children should be in. And as I get older and the activities pile on, I find myself saying many times over that I don’t remember my childhood being so hectic. We were content to play outside our house or down our street for hours unsupervised with the kids in our neighborhood. Fast forward to today where I find myself checking on my children multiple times when they are playing in our fenced-in backyard without supervision.
I have heard from many moms with older children that it gets easier. Their children are more independent, and weekdays are not busy planning which weekend activities will keep them entertained. I remind myself of this when I look at the clock on a Saturday morning wondering why the day already feels so long, and which activities can be done to consume most of the day getting us closer to bedtime.
I’ve also read on many parenting blogs that we should be enjoying this time. That childhoods race by, and one day we will wake up and they will be grown adults living in one-bedroom apartments in bustling cities and climbing corporate ladders. Our texts and phone calls to them will go unanswered while they’re out socializing, doing activities we didn’t have to plan for them.
All this leads me to another question, “Am I doing this wrong?” Where is the joy, lightness, and playfulness in parenting? Is it truly lost under piles of laundry, a never-ending stack of dishes, grocery shopping, and meal planning? There are times when life is so overwhelming it feels like a physical weight is sitting squarely in the middle of my chest, making every breath an overwhelming effort. And there are days when the moments of true happiness seem few and far between.
I think as moms, we generally have more questions than answers. When will this get easier? Am I doing this wrong? How is she able to do it all while I’m struggling? Unfortunately, there is no way to ever know how well you are truly doing. Parenting eventually boils down to waking up every morning committed to giving it your best shot. Moments will come when parenting feels energizing and carefree, but those moments may be fleeting, slipping away before you can pull out your phone to capture it.
The best advice I can give is to embrace those moments, hang on to them when times become especially challenging, and at least for the near future, splurge on a new, shiny, industrial-sized family planner.
by Tynea Lewis 
