Dear Special Needs Fathers, We Need You

Dear special needs father,

We see you. The unsung hero of our fight.

The silent workhorse.
Mr. Make-it-happen.

We see you working long days, carrying all the expectations the world has laid on your shoulders simply because you are a man.

When you add to that the dynamic of being the father to children who were born needing more love, guidance, and protection than average, it can feel insurmountable, I’m sure.

We see you’re exhausted from constantly picking up the slack. But knowing we can lean on you is priceless to us. We cannot do it all, and knowing you can do what we cannot is a saving grace.

We see you learning how to work a feeding pump.
We see you loading and unloading wheelchairs.
We see you physically carrying your child when the world is not accommodating enough and you refuse to let your child miss out.
We see you ignoring the onlookers and shamelessly loving your child in their own special language.

As a father, you are biologically hard-wired to protect your family.

But how do you protect against an enemy with no physical form? How do you fight an enemy with nothing to lose ? How do you fight something that can’t be beaten?

You don’t .

So you’re forced to fight your instincts instead.

Which is a constant and exhaustive process, I’m sure.

You also had to give up what you expected fatherhood would be. You also had to adjust the expectations in your life.

And that’s hard. So. Hard.

I know it may seem like some days all the long nights, sore muscles and thoughtful effort go unseen.

It does not.
We see you.

You are the foundation on which our metaphorical house sits. You may not be flashy, you may not even be seen that often.

But without you, none of this would be the same.

None of it.

A healthy and loving father is an irreplaceable presence in the life of a child.

A healthy and loving partner is an irreplaceable and immeasurable asset to a caregiving mother.

While you’re doing the work, making late-night pharmacy trips, driving to five stores for just the exact right item, making pit stops for small surprises, carrying bags, cleaning, picking up dinner, and picking up whatever slack is needed . . .

We see you.
We need you.
We appreciate you.

In a world where good moms get a lot of love, I thought it was important we give the good fathers their due.

You make our world a better, more stable, and safer place.

We see you.
We thank you.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page