By Elizabeth Pershing 
When you find “the one,” you can finally breathe and know all the searching, awkward conversations, and uncomfortable small talk are over. You have found YOUR hairstylist.
From a young age, many women search for the perfect stylist who understands their hair. Who looks at your picture of girls with cute bangs and gently talks you out of it. Your hairstylist starts as someone you trust with your roots, and then slowly becomes the person you entrust with your secrets.
Why do we do this? Why do we tell everything to a person we see every six to eight weeks? Why is a visit to your stylist one of the first postpartum outings many new moms take? Because a truly amazing stylist gives us space to sit with our feelings, listen, let us be vulnerable, and gives us a quick shoulder massage.
The intimate but not intimidating way they make eye contact in the mirror with kind, empathetic eyes.
Their ability to share enough of their life with us so we feel like we know them, without taking the spotlight away from our own therapy session with a side of a new bob.
Why is it we become so comfortable, so vulnerable in this pump-action chair?
Because we let down our guard, we set down our devices, we let them rub our heads, our necks, and our shoulders—and we feel safe. So we spill it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, the embarrassing, the terrifying, and the fun. They listen to it all, sit with it, take it in, and make you feel heard, understood, and valued.
These diamond-in-the-rough stylists are to be treasured. But let’s look at this dynamic from the stylist’s side of the mirror. Every hour or two, they greet a new client with a smile, probably a hug, and the good old, “What are we thinking today?” They listen, give the same quick life update, comment on the weather, and gauge whether their client needs quiet, advice, a sounding board, or just a trim. This is accomplished in about five minutes. They want you to feel beautiful, inside and out, so they actively listen with an empathetic ear. This is a demanding job physically, and they are always “on.” They are there to entertain you and give you not just highlights, but a break from your hectic life and the demands of being an adult.
When you leave, you walk out with your head held high, your gorgeous new locks flowing, an optimistic take on the world, a promise to yourself that you can make it look like this tomorrow (spoiler: you can’t), and feeling like you made a true connection with someone. The amount of money we save on therapy because we were able to work it out while the toner was toning is always money well spent.
So thank your stylist. Thank them for the amazing lowlights, the open heart, the layers around your face, the space they hold for your feelings, and of course, talking us out of bangs (again).
by Nancy Brier 
