When my children were toddlers, I vividly remember the first wobbly steps they took. I hovered close enough to catch them if they fell too hard but far enough to let them stumble and find their footing. It felt natural to let them fall in those moments because I knew it was how they’d learn. Their chubby little hands reaching out, their faces full of determination—those were the moments when I learned how to hold space for both their growth and their falls.
I didn’t know then that this early lesson in parenting would echo years later in ways that feel infinitely harder. Parenting teenagers is like watching them learn to walk all over again, but this time, the stakes feel so much higher.
The truth is, just like I couldn’t take every stumble away from my toddlers, I can’t shield my teenagers from every potential mistake. Yet, as they’ve grown, the stakes have grown too. The bumps in the road are no longer scraped knees or bruised elbows. Now, they are decisions that could lead to heartbreak, failure, or even life-altering consequences. And here I am, once again, trying to find the balance between letting them stumble and stepping in before they fall too hard.
But how do you know when to step in? How do you decide when to let them falter and when to intervene? These are the questions that keep me awake night after night. The truth is there are no clear answers. As parents, we can’t always predict which choices will be the small bumps that teach resilience and which might lead to something more serious. It’s a constant dance of trusting their judgment while silently hoping they’ll lean on the values and lessons we’ve tried so hard to instill.
It’s terrifying, really, this season of parenting. I often find myself second-guessing. Was that the right call? Did I give them too much freedom? Not enough? Am I setting them up for success or shielding them so much they’ll never learn to stand on their own?
The hardest part is the not knowing. Unlike the toddler years, when every scraped knee came with a hug and a Band-Aid, I don’t always get to see the outcomes of my teens’ falls. Sometimes, I’m left wondering if I’ve done enough or if I’ve done too much.
But here’s what I’ve come to realize: parenting teens is about trust. It’s about trusting that you’ve given them the tools they need to stand back up after a fall. It’s about trusting they’ll come to you when they need help—even if they don’t always take your advice. And it’s about trusting yourself as a parent even when the doubt creeps in.
We’ll never get it all right. That’s just the nature of parenting. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that our job isn’t to prevent every fall. It’s to be present, cheering them on as they take the next step, and reassuring them that—no matter what—we’ll be there to help them find their balance again.
by Jennifer Jabbour 
