Dear Zachary,
Ever since you were born, your dad and I have taken every precaution to keep you safe.
We bought the review mirrors so we could see you in the car. We had the deluxe baby monitor. There were more ER trips than I ever expected to ease your mama’s worries that your run-of-the-mill illnesses might be something other than ordinary. You always had to wear your baby Crocs in “sport mode” so they couldn’t fall off your feet as you toddled around. We covered every single outlet in the house, even the ones you had no hope of reaching. Everything we did was to keep you safe.
Home was a sanctuary against everything that could possibly hurt you. But then the day came when I sent you out into the world—a world which, to my mama heart, will never be wholly safe because, try as I might, I simply cannot protect you from every danger outside the walls of our home.
We stood in line at registration, and you were so excited about what was waiting for you on the other side of the doors. Our turn came, they checked your name off a list, and said you could go on in. I set your backpack on your shoulders, and it bumped against your knees. A teaching assistant took your hand and led you forward.
When you glanced back, I saw the look. The moment of panic when you realized Mommy wasn’t coming with you. I smiled, trying to be brave for both of us, said I loved you, and turned away. It broke my heart to leave you there, but I know this is the natural way of things, and as much as it hurts, this is a step you must take without me.
For the past three-and-a-half years, I have done everything to keep you from the world. But now you’re going through those doors, and the world is at your feet.
I’m flooded with emotions: sadness that my firstborn is already off to school; pride at who you already are; curiosity about who you’ll become; fear of what the world may do to you. But most of all, I’m excited for you. The things you’ll learn and the people you’ll meet and the experiences to be had. My son, what awaits you is beautiful and exhilarating and full of wonder.
Be swept away by it. Learn as much as you can. Be kind. Grow. Discover. Become who God made you to be and marvel at His creation in everything you see and do. But I hope you always remember one thing as the world beckons your little feet forward: when the world feels like too much—when hard days happen, when bad news comes, when your world is shaken—home will always be safe.
Love, Mommy