A letter to my kids…
I loved you from the moment I heard about you. I loved each of you fiercely before I met you. I loved you before I knew you would be mine to love. You were each created by someone else; meant for other mothers. I was sad that you had to leave the comfort of what you knew. The mother whose voice and smell was all you knew. But at the same time, I was so happy for the opportunity to bring you home. Truly bittersweet.
When I held you each for the first time, it honestly was instant love & awe. I tried to keep my guard up; knowing it might not work out the way I wanted it to. But when I looked into your eyes, saw your button nose, your soft lips & counted your little toes there was no going back. I was in love. And you were all so worth it. I put my heart on the line and fell in love with you and in the end you each became my baby. Mine and your daddy’s. You are ours and we are yours. We became a family even before the judge declared us family.
I can’t tell you how many times your daddy and I would stare at you, as babies, wondering how we got so lucky to have you. Truth be told, we still do it. We are thrilled to have you in our family. You bring us so much joy. We are so proud of all of you. I don’t know how we got so lucky to raise you as our own, but I’m so thankful for this chance. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
I want you to know that you are loved and wanted – by so many! While you didn’t get to stay with the family you were born to, you were still very much loved and wanted. Life is hard and isn’t fair. Your first moms (and dads) made the most difficult decision of their life and decided it was best for you to come home with us. We were honored by their choice and will love you all forever. No matter what. I promise they love you too and think about you every single day.
It doesn’t matter that you didn’t grow in my tummy. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t know you were coming. It doesn’t matter that you had a different mother first. It doesn’t matter that we aren’t biologically related. It doesn’t matter that people *think* you got your brown eyes from me. I am so proud to be your mom. It’s my favorite title. Of all the things that I am and could be, being your mom is the best. I just love you. I always will until forever.