God does not call the qualified . . . He qualifies the called. I’m sure you have heard this phrase. Today as I sit here at my computer gathering my thoughts I am thinking about just that. I am wondering what my calling is, am I qualified and how do I know I’m doing what God wants me to do? This last year I have really struggled and I don’t feel like I am qualified for much of anything. However, when I sit down and think about it, I know and believe God does have a plan for each one of us. He won’t write it on a piece of paper and nicely lay it on the kitchen table with a daily plan. He wants us to learn, trust and figure it out even when it’s challenging and impossible to go on.

I have always wondered if I was following God’s plan way before my son Tyler’s accident. But now I am even more interested. Saying “yes” to God’s plan may cause us to be scared and fearful, we may not want to hear his plan because it’s not working into the plans we have for our life. We are also scared at the direction it will lead us and what others will think. So instead of following, we just run the other way hoping it will not follow us. However, most times the things that we avoid are the things we desperately need. I’m starting to better understanding it after reading these two books, “To Heaven & Back” and ”7 Lessons From Heaven” by Mary C. Neal, M.D.

In my case, I wanted to know the end result before I was going to say “yes” to His plan. I guess that is because I wanted to still be in control, not letting my defenses down and trusting God’s plan. I did not believe I was qualified, I felt like I didn’t know how to do what he was asking me and I didn’t know who to tell what I needed. I am so glad God already knows we will be scared and he reminds us in the following verse:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

I have noticed God has given me nudges throughout my life. They are not always ones I feel comfortable with or understand, but I have learned to listen and act on them. It was about a year and a half after my son Tyler’s car accident that I would start to follow God’s plan. You see, I had a number of friends encourage me to tell my story after the horrible night on August 23, 2013 when we lost Tyler. But I had no idea why. Why would someone want to hear my story? I’m only Missy Hillmer. I am a nobody, I’m not famous, I don’t even know who to write for, plus it’s been forever since I was in high school or college. Well, God had a plan! He put the right person in my life, that lead me to the right person to submit my article to, who he knew would listen and tell my story. It was at that moment my story started to help others. I had no idea I would be the vehicle for God to help, heal and give hope to others who were hurting. You see my only goal was that someone would read my article! I really didn’t believe anyone would care or even want to pass it on to help another person get through a loss. It is to my great joy that my articles have been passed on to thousands of people who are grieving, hurting and need hope.

I still do not understand how losing my sweet 15-year-old son Tyler can be a gift. But, maybe my gift is that I am the person God knew would listen to His calling and tell my story to help countless others who are heartbroken because of a loss. I feel honored but yet very humbled that what I have to say can make a difference. I have learned that God will not do the things He wants us to do. Just like a horse you can lead him to water but he has to want to drink. God created each of us with a gift. I have found through this journey of loss that I am an example for others. My articles are a place they can go without talking to anyone. They can read, feel, cry and know someone truly understand what they are feeling. I can tell you that this gift was not something I was qualified for, hoped for, or planned for. But as I mentioned earlier God does not call the qualified . . . He qualifies the called. I believe I have been called and glad I said “yes” to the call.

So I ask you, what is your calling? Are you willing to listen and do what God has planned for you no matter what?

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Missy Hillmer

Missy Hillmer is a writer, photographer, wife, mother, creative lady whose mind is constantly on the go. She loves coffee, dark chocolate especially with nuts, music soothes her soul and being outside in the sun recharges her body. She has an angel in Heaven. Her faith is what gets her through each day. Since her son Tyler’s accident she is passionate about telling her story with the hope that it will help or inspire at least one person who has lost a child.

My Baby Was Stillborn, But Still Born

In: Child Loss, Grief
My Baby Was Stillborn, But Still Born www.herviewfromhome.com

My baby was stillborn, but still born. In a cool white hospital room where so many had been born before. My body trembled and shook as his body worked its way out of my womb and into the hands of a doctor. He was void of breath, of sound, of movement, but he was still born. My baby was stillborn, but still lived. In the darkness of my womb. The outline of his body was visible against the darkness of the screen, his presence undeniable. The sound of his heartbeat drowned out the sound of mine as I watched his...

Keep Reading

I Am Not My Child’s Death

In: Cancer, Child Loss, Faith, Grief
I Am Not My Child's Death www.herviewfromhome.com

We are NOT what has happened to us or what this world says we are. That is not what defines us. While we are grieving parents, that is not what our whole story has to be about. Although, at times, we feel that our story is over. We ask, how do we go on and live full lives without our sweet Sophie with us? I’m still not 100 percent sure I know the answer to that. BUT the Lord says I am beloved. I am redeemed and accepted. I am holy and chosen. I am righteous and complete. I am...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Moments After Losing a Child

In: Child Loss, Grief, Motherhood
The Hardest Moments After Losing a Child www.herviewfromhome.com

Within the first three months following the death of my newborn daughter, I participated in one baby shower, attended two first birthday parties, had multiple infants in and around my home, and watched not one, not two, but five of my closest friends take happy, healthy babies home from the hospital. And in the midst of my own life-altering experience, I purchased, wrapped, and mailed a gift to every one of those new babies, because they deserved one. In the days and months after my daughter died, I didn’t run away or hide from babies at all. And this seemed...

Keep Reading

6 Commitments I Made to Myself After Child Loss

In: Child Loss, Grief, Kids, Motherhood
6 Commitments I Made to Myself After Child Loss www.herviewfromhome.com

Following the death of our infant daughter, I found myself facing an opportunity to activate the immense power of personal choice. Time and time again. Hour after hour, day after day. It felt as if every moment that passed provided me with a choice: to let the grief consume me, or not. In the midst of the most emotionally complex experience of my life, my ability to survive felt as simple as that. Will grief consume me, or not? Once I began believing that Olivia had lived out her life’s plan completely—that she had come, she had loved, she had...

Keep Reading

To the Moms and Dads Who Suffer Loss: You Are Not Alone

In: Child Loss, Grief, Infertility, Motherhood
To the Moms and Dads Who Suffer Loss: You Are Not Alone www.herviewfromhome.com

You are walking the hardest path anyone will ever walk—living this life without your children. Your losses have come in many shapes and sizes. You’ve lost tiny heartbeats early in the womb. You’ve screamed and sobbed through labor to deliver a silent but perfect little bundle. You’ve held a fragile infant for hours, days, weeks, or months, only to give him back to Heaven. You’ve watched your little one grow into a curious toddler and then held her a final time as disease or an accident took her away. You’ve lived a full childhood with your baby and even watched...

Keep Reading

A Letter to My Mama, From Your Baby in Heaven

In: Child Loss, Faith, Grief, Miscarriage
A Letter to My Mama, From Your Baby in Heaven www.herviewfromhome.com

Dear Mama, I know you miss me and wish you could watch me grow up. But instead, you sit in that rocking chair, tears streaming down your face, arms wrapped around the blanket that was supposed to be mine. I see you crying, Mama, wishing you could hold me. Wishing you could look into my eyes. Wishing you could hear me cry or call you “Mama”. I want you to know Jesus rocks me to sleep every night and while He does it, He tells me all about you. I know tulips are your favorite flower and that every spring...

Keep Reading

God Actually Does Give Us More Than We Can Handle

In: Child Loss, Faith, Grief
God Actually Does Give Us More Than We Can Handle www.herviewfromhome.com

I used to be someone who said, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” That was before I had faced any hardships in my life. I didn’t know who God truly is. When people are going through something hard and decide to share it, it makes people uncomfortable. It’s hard to watch others who are hurting, and it’s hard not knowing how to help when it’s someone you love. “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” is a very well-meaning encouragement that I know is meant in love. I’ve said it before! But it’s not really...

Keep Reading

Why I Got a Tattoo With My Teenage Daughters

In: Child Loss, Grown Children, Motherhood, Teen
Why I Got a Tattoo With My Teenage Daughters www.herviewfromhome.com

“We should get a tattoo, Mom.” I laughed. I knew it was just my younger daughter, Sarah’s way of getting herself a tattoo—to go along with her nose ring, and six ear piercings. She didn’t really want me to get one. Did she? “Truth!” My oldest, more conservative daughter, Elle, chimed in. “We should all go.” What? Home from college just five minutes, maybe she was bored. I heard tattoos really hurt and she hates pain, like I do. I glared at my two daughters, now 17 and 19. They can read my mind. I knew it! There was something...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Sure How Long I’ll Need an Antidepressant to Feel Normal…and That’s OK

In: Cancer, Child Loss, Grief, Mental Health
I'm Not Sure How Long I'll Need an Antidepressant to Feel Normal...and That's OK www.herviewfromhome.com

I tried to wean off of Zoloft and couldn’t. And that’s OK. I had never really been aware of the world of antidepressants. My life has been relatively uneventful—with the normal ups and downs that most of us go through. I knew people on medication for depression but never understood. How can you be THAT sad that you can’t just be positive and make the best of your circumstances? How can someone be THAT unhappy ALL the time to need medication? I didn’t get it. I felt bad for people going through it. Then my 2-year-old was diagnosed with Stage...

Keep Reading

To the Young Warriors Fighting Cancer, You Are Superheroes

In: Cancer, Child, Child Loss, Health
To the Young Warriors Fighting Cancer, You Are Superheroes www.herviewfromhome.com

Most people never get to meet their heroes. I have, in fact—I have met many heroes. These heroes didn’t set out for greatness; they fell victim to a terrible disease and faced it with courage, might and bravery like I have never seen before. And when we talk about this type of battle, there is no such thing as losing. whether the battle ended in death, life, or debility, each of these heroes defeated. My heroes are the innocent children who battle cancer. I high-fived, hugged, wept over, laughed and played with my heroes for 10 years as a nurse. And you better believe I...

Keep Reading