I can only guess what it would be like to have a daughter. In my house, the odds fell in favor of all boys. When we first envision raising a family, I’m not sure any of us expect that to have all girls or all boys. What are the chances?
Do I look at mothers who help daughters shop for wedding dresses and feel a twinge of sadness that I’ll never share that bond? I feel guilty when I admit that these fleeting thoughts have entered my mind. Being daughterless means no mommy-daughter mani-pedis. No glittery pink dance costumes. No cute tea parties with a collection of dolls.
Have I seen sonless fathers of who ever so slightly wish they could just once play football in the backyard with a son? Yep. And they might not want to admit that either; but they’ve also had more fun than they ever imagined at a tea party or two.
I think I’ve heard it all over the years. “Wow… you have ALL boys?” And during my last pregnancy, “Wouldn’t it be nice if this baby was a girl?”
Most of the time, these conversations are well intended and all in fun. A few times, however, I am well aware that there have been those who truly think I’m missing out. And that’s missing the point. Entirely.
I may not have predicted parenthood with all boys, but it’s just right for us and I wouldn’t change it. While there is no chance that any of my sons will ever want to go on a shopping trip, they’re pretty awesome at making omelets and chocolate chip cookies with me in the kitchen. And I’m a mom who loves a well-built train track, muddy shoes that splashed puddles after a rain, and baseball all summer long. My family isn’t any less complete; each child is a gift. Boys. Girls. Individuals. All wonderfully made though wonderfully different. We never wanted anything but healthy babies. Anyone who has endured a miscarriage or lost a child knows this all too well.
No matter how much someone has their heart set on having a girl or a boy; it’s not about what parents want. Or what grandparents want. Or what anyone else’s imagination of what the ideal family might be.
I may not share a mother-daughter bond with any of my children, but I have a unique connection with each of my sons. There’s one with willful boundless energy that makes me laugh. One that notices everything and says next to nothing – until bedtime when he has 10,000 things to report. One who tells me Star Wars jokes when he’s not shooting hoops. Or the one who towers over me despite that it seems he was a baby just yesterday.
I might be a different kind of mom today if I had a daughter or two; maybe being a boy mom makes me rougher around the edges. I tend to think it’s completely irrelevant and that everything is just as God prepared.
The journey that God gives to each of us is always purposeful while filled with both blessings and bumps in the road. There’s so much that’s amazing in our midst that there’s no point on focusing on any moment that belongs to someone else’s path. Any combination of daughters and sons is a delight by beautiful design.