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Dear friend with all the “feels”,

I bet you know what it’s like to feel sick to your stomach when you see roadkill on the side of the road. Some people wouldn’t think twice about it, but you wonder if the animal felt pain.

A little inconvenience might ruin your day because it feels so overwhelming. Instead of looking at it for what it is—an inconvenience—you think about how it will impact and affect others and how it could be a burden to them. Feeling like a burden is something you may experience a lot.

When bad things happen to people, whether you know them or not, you empathize in a way that others find strange. Even though YOU may not be going through the hardship, it feels like you are. It’s like other human’s emotions seep into your soul. You are like an emotional sponge, absorbing all the emotions around you.

You weep anytime you actually open your heart up during worship, and so sometimes you just choose not to, because once you start you may not be able to stop. In fact, allowing yourself to cry, ever, may feel very risky.

You want to please everyone because the idea of someone being mad at you, or the thought of creating conflict makes you want to crawl out of your skin. You don’t know how someone might react, and a negative reaction makes you uncomfortable.

You can’t get people off your mind and heart sometimes. You feel connected to them, even when you don’t want to.

Your heart is SO big, just like the emotions you feel. Sometimes you might wonder why certain things impact you so much, and feel embarrassed that other people are not experiencing emotions to the same intensity as you. You hear things like “you are being too sensitive” or “you are so dramatic” or “just let it go”.

But you can’t just let it go. You are a feeler. And you feel everything, deeply.

You feel heartache, pain, grief, sadness, anger, so easily and so fully.

The thing is though, you get to experience EVERY emotion deeply. Including the emotions of love, joy, compassion and excitement.

You are the person friends want around to celebrate their birthdays, big promotions, or new babies because of the way you exude joy for them.

You are the person who has strangers randomly open up to you because they can sense the kindness and compassion you carry.

You are the mom who secretly cries over your babies growing older, but also the mom who doesn’t take for granted the beautiful gifts of life you have. You are often consumed by gratitude for your family.

You are the believer whose heart explodes in thankfulness when you worship God and His creation.

You are the one who doesn’t give up on the person the rest of the world has given up on because you believe he has potential and want to help him see it.

Although it may be hard for people around you to understand, part of the reason they love you so much is because you are so full of emotion. You wouldn’t be able to carry the enormity of love you have if you weren’t this way.

You are a feeler, an empath, perhaps, and you are so aware of others. That’s not a bad thing, it’s not a flaw.

In fact, it’s a beautiful thing, that when coupled with good boundaries, is an amazing gift.

So don’t stuff those emotions down or feel ashamed of them. Don’t try to hide away from them or numb them. You were created this way, and the world needs you.

Love,
Your fellow “big feeler”

Originally published on The Unraveling

Kelli Bachara

Kelli Bachara is a wife and mom to two sweet kiddos. She is a mental health therapist, writer, and podcaster. Kelli loves her Goldendoodle, coffee, and this beautiful thing called life. You can find her at www.kellibachara.com.

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