To my dearest children,
As I am sure you must be aware, my love for you both is greater than the whole entire sky.
You are my heart and soul.
My reason for being.
The yins to my yang.
That being said, can I ask you a teeny tiny little favor?
It’s a very small one, I promise!
Please, please, for the love of God . . . can you leave me the heck alone?! Holy moly! It is now past 9 p.m. and both of you have the gall to ask for more cookies or a three-course dinner or whatever the heck else you were whining about.
It’s late! And I am so stinking tired! My head feels like it may fall off. I have something I need to say, and consider it your five-minute warning:
Mommy is off duty.
Yes, off duty!
You surely know what I am talking about. Remember last week in the grocery store, when the lady could not ring us up because she had just gone off duty? Both of you freaked out that your sugary, unhealthy, fattening snacks would not make it out of the place. Well, of course you do! And that is what I mean.
I am done.
Farewell my loves!
I know it is going to be a rough few hours. However, I have every ounce of confidence you will soldier on without me.
You can do it!
Let us take the nighttime routine, for example. You guys will rock it! I have seen it with my very own eyes. I have witnessed you turn on the light in the bathroom, get out the toothbrushes and proceed to brush those pearly whites.
It’s pretty amazing, I must say!
You don’t need me for accompaniment; I assure you there is no monster hiding in the toilet bowl. Also, I spotted you using those capable little hands to turn on the faucet. I know it happened at least one time in the past six years!
Believe me, I am aware of what you must be thinking:
“Mommy, can’t do this to us!”
“She has to at least wait for us to go to bed!”
“And what about those dishes?”
Just kidding about that last part, my loves. I know you are not the least bit worried about those dishes. You are under the impression they clean themselves.
But, I digress . . .
I may seem like superwoman sometimes, but I’m really not. I get tired, too. Remember the last time the stomach virus made its way around the house? Everyone had a chance to sleep, heal, and get well.
Except for me. I get no rest in this joint.
I remember holding you as newborn babies. I cried and cried.
Your daddy thought it was because I was completely in love. Well, he was half right. I was completely in love, but I was also scared. I was scared I would never get a lick of sleep again.
Although you both are totally worth the exhaustion, it does take a toll after a while.
I am sure you rug rats can understand. Picture this: you just had a long day of reading, writing, running around, and listening to authority figures at school. Then you come home and I ask you to do homework, chores, and clean up.
It’s a lot to ask, no?
I understand. In fact, I understand so much that I am tired just thinking about it. Mommy has responsibilities, too.
Believe it or not, while you are sleeping soundly, I continue with my own chores.
Usually I don’t mind, but tonight I really needed a break from it all.
I’m so glad you understand. And guess what? I am all for it if you guys ever request a much-needed break. I will be behind you every step of the way (and I mean that literally—I am constantly following you to pick up all the stuff thrown on the floor).
Anyway, I will see you guys tomorrow.
When the sun comes up, I will be back at it—serving, working, and catering to all your needs.
Until then, I am sending my love, prayers and fingers crossed for an uneventful night that includes nothing broken, stained, or drawn on with permanent marker.
Love you bunches!
Yours always and forever,
One exhausted mama
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