Dear Kids, You May Come From a Broken Family, But You Are Not Broken

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Dear kids,

You came home one day and told me it was “silly” that you have two houses and two beds. So, as this new chapter in your lives begins, I wanted to give you some perspective on the relationship I had with your father.

You were born to parents who loved each other and loved you fiercely. We wanted so badly to be a family; we were just so young and didn’t know what that really meant. We probably made every relationship mistake possible, but one thing was always certain: You three are the best things to ever happen to your dad and me.

He and I grew up to be completely different people than we were when we met. We started down two completely different paths and staying together would have been toxic, so we decided to do what was best for you. We decided to keep walking those different paths but do our best to be the best co-parents—because you three deserve the very best.

I know sometimes when you’re with me, you get sad and miss your dad, but trust me, two happy homes are better than one unhappy home. Your dad and I could not have become anything but toxic together, and that meant growing apart. I’m not better than he is; and he is not better than I am. We are just different, and now, we are genuinely happy being co-parents. That wouldn’t have happened if we stayed together.

We have come so far on this journey. From learning to live with each other to learning how to live without each other, we’ve learned a lot about ourselves and what makes us truly happy. And we haven’t always gotten along, but no matter what happens, we will always cheer each other on. We don’t want to see each other fail. We want you to grow up with two strong, successful parents. We want you to see how to build a strong, successful, and happy home. You’ll be building your own one day, minis.

You are a part of me and part of your dad, and we both love every piece of you. You do so many little things that remind me of your dad, but it doesn’t make me sad to see them. I love that you enjoy your family time with your dad, and I want to hear all about it every time you come to this home—one of your two whole homes. He is just as much your parent as I am, and I want you to love him as fiercely as you love me . . . and as fiercely as we love you.

Even though you come from a “broken family,” you are not broken. You are three amazing children. You are my whole world. Remember that, my loves. You have two houses—you get to call two places home—and both homes welcome you with unconditional love.

Love,
Mom

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co parenting Divorce raising kids

LauraLee Schneider

Laura is an almost 30-something mother of 5 (3 by birth, 2 by circumstance) ages 3-16. She recently became a cheerleader for co-parenting as her one family was split into two. Laura believes strongly in communication, working together, and parenting together to retain consistency between two households where her children live. Many ex-spouses hold onto animosity and hostility toward one another, but Laura works hard to keep the focus on her children and make her first priority that which is in their best interest. Laura loves the outdoors, photography, and combining those two loves. She can often be found hiking and exploring nature on foot or capturing on film the most precious moments in life—the ones that slip through our fingers too easily.

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