Dear new mama of a bundle of blue,
When you have your first boy, you will look down at him with a sense of matchless awe. Love and amazement and fear and a deep ache and so many other nameless emotions will fill your heart until you feel it could burst. Maybe you thought you knew what love felt like before, but this . . . no mere words could adequately describe this.
Those first times changing his diaper you might feel a little silly wondering how on earth to do it quickly enough not to get sprayed. And a few months later, you’ll be amazed at how difficult it can be to hold an active 15-20 pound baby boy still for more than two seconds to change him. Some days, it’ll feel like trying to hold down a wiggly octopus, and he’ll laugh with delight or loudly protest as you try to wrangle that diaper on as quickly as you can before he slips away.
If you can, try to laugh at how crazy it is.
These days will slip away soon enough.
The first time he says “mama” your heart will freeze and dance and break into a million pieces all in a matter of seconds.
You’ll beg him to say it again and again as you hold him as close as you can. A few years later, you might get a bit annoyed by that word as you’re longing for just a few moments all to yourself, but if you can, remember the time when it meant more than anything else.
You might not be able to stop snuggling him close and saying how much you love him to the moon. And when he takes his first steps, you’ll cheer like he just took his first step on that moon. If you can, write down these little memories and milestones as he makes so many imprints across your heart.
One day, when he’s around two or three, you’ll probably look at him and think, “Whose child is this? Where am I going wrong? Is this ever going to end?” If you can, in the middle of the tantrum, just stop to look at his face for a moment. Remember that one day it will be the face of a grown man. Imagine the kind, self-controlled man you are praying he becomes as you wipe the tears from his chubby cheeks, wrap your arms around his chubby body, and hold his chubby hand as you help him find his way through this big new world of emotions.
These days are long, but the impact you’re leaving is longer.
He might not remember any of those tumultuous times, but he will instinctively know he can always run to your arms. You won’t just see the boy you’re holding, but the man he’s yet to be. Let him know the boundaries are firm and secure and your love is boundless and firm and secure.
You’ll get to know superheroes like they’re old family friends. You’ll mourn with the Hulk as he loses his first love. You might even begin to empathize with bad guys like Electro as you learn about their painful pasts. You’ll wish you could throw him a surprise birthday party or at least send him a card. Your son might laugh at you for that, but you’ll use these opportunities to teach your boys about empathy and the power to see beyond the surface. He might not realize or admit it, but those lessons will sink into his heart.
To be honest, it might get old hearing about whatever random interest he’s into at the time. But if you can, remember how special it is to be invited into his world.
Share in the joy of your growing up baby boy.
As he continues to grow, you might notice the close bond you used to share seeming to weaken. Some moments may hurt your heart a little as you wonder where that little boy went who adored you like you hung the moon. But if you can, remember he’s still there and all the investments you’ve poured into him are still there too. Some things stay with us for life, and your love for him will reach much further than the moon. The impact you’re making is an eternal one.
Dear new mama of a precious new bundle of blue, enjoy this adventure.
Remember to hold Jesus’ hand as you guide your little boy through his childhood. And remember that this aching, bursting love you feel for your sweet boy is just a sliver of the matchless love Jesus feels for him and you, too.
Congratulations to you, sweet new mama of blue.