Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

“He’s such a calm boy.” 

“I promise he’s well-behaved when he’s with me.”

“We had a great day. He definitely acts differently when you’re not around.” 

Oh sweet child, little do they know. 

I get you at your worst.

I get you when the sunny smile that brightened your face just moments ago shifts downward into the deepest scowl.

I get you when your lip starts to quiver and your eyes fill with tears. 

I get you when you turn beet red and those splotchy red marks speckle your forehead and neck.

I get you when your fists ball tightly at your sides and your body goes stiff as a board.

I get you when your pint-sized frame hurls itself onto the floor.

I get you when you flail around on the ground, your high-pitched screams piercing the air, and the eardrums of anyone nearby.

I get you when I carry you out of grocery stores, out of restaurants, out of splash pads and playgrounds and parks, out of friends’ houses, out of the car, out of the backyard because it’s time to go inside for dinner.

I get you when I hold you tightly against my body, as you resist me so hard with yours.

I get you at your worst.

I know they stare. I know they talk. I know they judge the pale, sweaty woman wrestling her hysterical child away, hiding tears behind her over-sized sunglasses. 

But here’s the thing, child.

I get you at your worst, because you feel comfortable enough with me to show your true emotions.

I get you at your worst, because you trust me enough not to ever leave you.

I get you at your worst, because you don’t have to pretend with me.

I get you at your worst, because I am your soft place to land. Your home. Your safe haven.

I get you at your worst, because you know without doubt or hesitation that I will love you no matter what you do.

I get you at your worst, because I am your mother.

Which means that when all is said and done, I don’t worry that you are an angel for other people, but not always for me.

Because when you wrap your arms around my neck and snuggle in my arms;

When in a sea of people you have eyes only for me;

When you turn around for a split second, just to make sure I’m there;

When your smile lights up the room when I walk through the door;

When I’m the first face you see in the morning and the last to kiss you goodnight;

I know.

I know I get you at your best, too.

This article originally appeared on Shower Arguments

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Emily Solberg

Emily Solberg is a soldier, military spouse, mom of two, and fierce advocate of women supporting women. The goal of her writing is to help others feel less alone in their parenting journeys, and she isn’t afraid to share the hard parts of her own. You can find more from her over on Facebook and Instagram at Shower Arguments with Emily Solberg.

He’s Slowly Walking Away with Footprints As Big As Mine

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Teen boy walking along beach shore

The true measure of a mother’s love is her willingness to wake up before the sun on vacation. On a recent trip to the shore, my youngest son begged to walk the beach at dawn to look for shells. So, I set my alarm, tumbled out of a warm, king-sized bed with extra squishy pillows, glared at my dead-to-the-world husband, and gently woke my 11-year-old. Without so much as a drop of coffee, we headed out into the morning, the sun still below the ocean horizon. With each step, I shed my zombie-like state and took in the quiet, salt-kissed...

Keep Reading

Are You Watching?

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Little girl playing goalie at soccer practice, color photo

I brought a book to my 7-year-old daughter’s soccer practice. To be honest, I was looking forward to one hour of time when I didn’t have to do anything but sit. No one would be asking me questions, and no one would need anything from me. I wasn’t in charge. So, I set up my lawn chair, got cozy, and opened the book. But then I happened to glance up as it was her turn to run a drill. The coach was passing each kid the ball for them to kick into the goal. She stepped forward, kicked, and made...

Keep Reading

Dear Sully

In: Child, Motherhood
Little boy smiling holding parents' hands

Dear Sully,  Thank you for changing our lives! Many times when someone thinks about autism they think of it negatively. But I want to talk about autism in a positive light. I want to talk about what our son’s autism has taught us.  We wanted to write this letter to you, my beautiful boy, letting you know just how much you have changed our lives and the things you have taught us.  You have made us more compassionate toward others. You have shown us the ability to not judge others because you never know what struggles they are facing.  You...

Keep Reading

She’s Stepping Into Her Own Self and I’m Learning To Let Her

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Smiling young girl

I was recently asked, “What age do you think your daughter will want to decorate her own room?” I was stumped by the question. I never considered that my 7-year-old daughter would one day replace the unicorn head hanging from her wall or the pink color scheme weaved throughout her furniture pieces. Of course, I knew her room wouldn’t stay that way forever. Still, I had never considered the magnitude of emotions I may experience when that day comes.   The first years of parenting a little girl are filled with externally swayed ideas of how they should dress and...

Keep Reading

You Fill Our Family With Laughter

In: Child, Motherhood
Laughing little girl, black and white photo

Little girl, Sometimes, you have a hard time finding your place. You joined our family at seven. You were so sweet but so unsure. There are ways you’re growing . . . changing . . . grieving . . . struggling. and we don’t always know how to help.  However, we listen, we talk, and we reach out to people who know more than we do. Despite all you are going through, there is a strength that always rises to the top. You are funny. And you find the comedy in everything around you.  RELATED: I Love the Laughter That...

Keep Reading

You Gave Him So Much More than a Haircut

In: Child, Motherhood
Baby boy with long hair, color photo

“Thank you for cutting his hair,” I’ve told Emily many times in passing, or lightheartedly over text. I wish I could show her what it actually means in my heart. “I’ll go in by myself,” he says. Instantly, my mind flashes from the achingly handsome 10-year-old standing in front of me to the toddler he once was. I see his 2-year-old self standing before me in our mudroom. Fresh from Kids Cuts, a soggy sticker on his T-shirt that reads “I GOT MY HAIRCUT.” A red and blotchy face from crying, eyes swollen. The buzz cut was the quickest way...

Keep Reading

Time Slips Like Sand Through a Mother’s Fingers

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Son kissing mother

I take a handful of sand and watch the granules gradually slip between my fingers. My 1-year-old digs in the sand, then puts the yellow plastic shovel in his mouth. I chuckle at the grimace on his face and dust away sand from his lips. It feels like yesterday my oldest boy had the same wispy blonde hair that turned platinum in the summer, sweet dimples on his hands and knees. Now, his hair has darkened and his legs have lengthened. And somewhere along the way, he stopped calling me Mommy, switching to a simpler Mom. I didn’t even notice...

Keep Reading

Tuck the Moon Inside Your Heart, Sweet Girl

In: Child, Motherhood
Little girl and mother at bedtime

Earlier this month, the astrophotographer Marcella Giulia Pace published the most amazing photograph that depicted 48 different colors of a full moon, captured over the course of 10 years. It is a stunning photograph, showing the moon bathed in the most magnificent ombre hues of reds, purples, blues, oranges, and browns. The colors of the Moon seen from the Earth.#NASAMoonSnap #NASAArtemis @NASAArtemis pic.twitter.com/FERfUe2nwR — Marcella Giulia Pace (@enrosadire) August 20, 2022 When I first saw it, I just stopped and stared at it for a long while, absorbing the nuanced grandeur of the image. How special it was that—for 10...

Keep Reading

I Know What It’s Like To Have a Difficult Child

In: Child, Motherhood
Little girl kneeling on deck, color photo

One Sunday morning during church, I was standing around bouncing my fussy premature baby around the cry room. This room is special—a place for nursing moms and moms with young kids to watch the live sermon on a monitor. I wasn’t alone, two other moms sat on the couches, and we were all chatting. A beautiful but tired mom sat with her little girl snuggled in her arms, gazing at the lights.  “She’s so chill. She’s like this all the time, much easier than my other son.”  I looked over at her with big eyes and a laugh, “I’m jealous!...

Keep Reading

His First Haircut Was the Start of Letting Go

In: Child, Motherhood, Tween
Toddler smiling and holding popsicle, color photo

My son has the most beautiful curls. I remember when his hair started growing as a baby and a little ringlet appeared. My momma heart was bursting with excitement. Yes, I will admit something as superficial as a curl made me squeal.  The kid just has adorable hair—and where does this wondrous flow come from? He didn’t inherit it from me, and his dad doesn’t have a curl to boot either. In a way, it’s become my youngest’s trademark.  The day came for his first haircut, and then his second one. I remember watching his curls fall to the ground...

Keep Reading