Dear Strong Willed Daughter, When We Struggle

You, my daughter, are my tough one.

You are my child who bucks against everything I say.

You keep your heels digging in the ground and rise up against me like a strong force.

Most days everything I ask is met with a challenge, and many days I find myself in tears on my knees in prayer.

I have said hurtful words in frustration.

I have many days where I lack the patience I desperately want to have with you.

It seems some days you wear on me until I am just left raw.

But you, my child, are also the one who is teaching me so much, and despite our difficulties in this season, I love you more than life itself.

It is through our challenges that I am rising up to be the mother God has called me to be.

I am dying to my flesh daily and through our relationship, I am learning what it truly means to walk in the Spirit.

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I look at you and I see a girl who knows what she wants. A girl who is not afraid to speak up and be bold. A girl who can take charge and hold her ground.

You see, even though you challenge me every day, I see how that fierce personality of yours is also something of great value.

You are so much more than just a challenge—you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God Himself.

So, my dear one, I want you to know that even if we have plenty of days when we struggle, I always want you to know that God knew what He was doing when He gave you to me. He knew you would be one of my greatest blessings and also one of my greatest teachers.

You are constantly showing me what it means to offer grace. How to offer grace and forgiveness in times when I would rather walk away—grace for myself for all of the times I have felt like I have let myself down for not being the mom I want to be.

You are showing me how to surrender to God. Sometimes a minute to minute surrender. It is through you that I am learning total reliance on the Holy Spirit to step in when my flesh is fighting against me.

You have taught me to start my day in prayer and fill up with His Word so that His grace comes out of my mouth. 

You have a way of holding up a mirror so I can see everything I truly am—the good and the bad.

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I see the ugly parts of my heart, the parts that are frustrated and quick to anger, but I also some good parts too. The hugs, kisses, the reconnecting after a hard time, and the surrendering in prayer together.

I want to be the mom you need me to be, and I believe every day God is molding me to become exactly that.

I don’t know if our relationship will always be as challenging as it is in this season, but I do know you will continue to teach me my whole life. We will continue to grow together, and I am so very thankful for you because you have opened my eyes to who God is calling me to be.