Nothing prepared me for motherhood quite like diving head first into the experience, but something even more astonishing happened when baby #4 joined our family. Just when I thought our family was one big ball of uncontrollable chaos stretched to the limit, baby #4 entered the picture to create a whole new adventure. This new phase of motherhood forced me to enjoy the small moments and let go of my desire to control every situation. It wasn’t an easy transition. In fact, I refused to accept the additional limitations added by this fourth child. I was now officially outnumbered – yes, I know that happened several children before. But something special transpired with #4, I was forced to accept my vocation as a mom and now I appreciate and love every minute of it. There is no place I would rather be than with these four little ones who demand my attention.

I am not going to pretend that life is easy with four children under seven years old, but I have learned to prioritize my day and adapt to the unstoppable chaos. After the birth of the fourth baby, I was terrified to leave the house and venture into an unknown judgmental world. It took me awhile to achieve a comfortable routine; but now my world, full of disorder, is more peaceful than ever before. Sounds a bit ironic, right? No longer do I have the overwhelming desire to volunteer my time to charitable organizations or to dedicate unlimited hours to my businesses while juggling the children. I reached a conclusion – my children and my husband needed my valuable time more than anyone else. Why did it take me so long to discover such a basic concept?

As my limited time has become more valuable, I have been forced to accept what is within my ability to control. I cannot control the level of noise constantly coming from the boys when they decide to wrestle in the middle of the living room. My only relief is to send those rambunctious boys outside onto the grass to finish the match; it sure is fun to watch them be boys though. My beautiful daughter who loves to sing loud and play school with her dolls multiple times a day may encourage this uncontrollable noise level, but I am blessed that she also loves to take control and clean the morning messes of spilled cheerios. Now that I am accustomed to this constant commotion, I can’t imagine living without it – this is my family and I love the little firecrackers.

There is no place I would rather be than with these four little ones who demand my attention during their every waking hour, but honestly, no matter how many good or bad days we experience, those beautiful faces give me a purpose in which I was unable to find anywhere else. I appreciate the unbelievable level of craziness that baby #4 brought into our family. It forced me into a beautiful role as a mother that I embrace with my whole heart and soul. Those little ones who unconditionally love and need me are now the center of my world and I personally wouldn’t find this peace anywhere else. 

Danielle Silva

Danielle Marie Heckenkamp is a stay at home mom and freelance writer who lives in the beautiful state of Wisconsin with her husband and four children. Danielle Marie is the co-author of Provocative Manners: The Sauce of Life, a book about common sense and manners. She is working to complete her first novel. Danielle Marie’s entrepreneurial spirit has led to owning and operating several small businesses in the past 10 years (a floral company, an art studio, and a not for profit), but with the birth of baby number four, she is now focusing more on family life. Danielle Marie spends any small coveted moment of quiet, which are pretty rare, writing about her passions: children, motherhood, marriage, and cooking. You can read more of her articles at