Fighting the Lies my Childhood Told Me

I sat there across from the counselor in the small dimly lighted room. Tears streamed down my face as I let the words come out of my mouth, “It shouldn’t have happened. I was just a little girl. No little girl should go through that.”

“No little girl?” My counselor prompted.

I knew what she was wanting me to say. I knew what she was wanting me to believe. No little girl…it also included me.

I should never have had to face what I faced while growing up. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t okay.

I felt the heaviness of those words as they impacted my heart and soul. It hurt speaking what I hid deep down inside to be true. Yet, at the same time I felt this weight lift off as the truth was uttered in that room, on that couch, for the first time in my entire life.

It was my taste of freedom. And it was just the beginning.

So much of who we are, so much of what makes up the core of our very being, is rooted in our childhood. I never knew how much until it came time to unpack the hurts I unknowingly carried within my heart. I realized how much my view of who God was to me, was impacted by what happened in my life as a child.

I’ve served God for years. I’ve been working in ministry since I was seventeen. I encountered God in an entirely new light when I graduated high school and I’ve never looked back. But even in all the years I have served Him, I never knew that lies deep within my heart that I believed were distorting the way I looked at God.

I never knew the layers of freedom I was unable to grasp because of a lie rooted within me that I didn’t know was even there.

But God stepped in, in His loving, merciful, caring way, He began to nudge at my heart and tell me it was time. God knew now was the time to face it all head on. God knew that now I could fight the fight that needed to be fought. God knew now was the time, and all I needed to do was accept His invitation.

I would be lying if I told you I thought I was ready. I would be lying if I told you I stared this fight in the face and went in strong. I would be lying if I told you that when God nudged my heart and told me it was time that it meant I handled everything with ease.

This has been the hardest fight of my life.

A war to experience the freedom of God in our lives to its greatest potential is not a war that comes at an easy cost.

There is a very real enemy who seeks to devour us and keep us from experiencing the ultimate freedom that God has to offer us. There is a very real enemy who prides himself on the lies he planted in our hearts never being brought to the surface so we never know they are there. There is an enemy who wants to keep you from experiencing the magnitude of Christ’s love for you.

God has so much He wants to offer us. There are layers and layers to discover of His character. There are pieces of Him that we haven’t even touched yet. Our life will be lived in constant discovery and deepening of who God is and the aspects of His character. But we cannot discover Him with the lies the enemy has planted in our hearts. Every one of us have lies that He has planted within the deepest parts of our soul. They can be simple, they can be complex, or they can be a little bit of everything. Facing a lie that has been rooted in our hearts is daunting and it could make you want to turn away and run.

But sister, I want to whisper something to your heart today, so listen closely.

Fighting head on will give you the taste of freedom you need to never look back.

Fighting head on will give you the hope that true freedom can only be found in Christ.

Fighting head on will give you the joy that goes far beyond our current circumstances.

Sister, the taste of freedom found in Jesus Christ is as powerful as it gets.

So face it head on. Keep fighting. Experience what God’s truth impacting the lies of the enemy can do in your life. Taste the freedom that He has to offer you. Then spend your entire life discovering it.

*This post originally appeared on the author’s blog.