Kids Motherhood

I Am The Mom Everyone Tells You Not To Be

I Am The Mom Everyone Tells You Not To Be www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Gina Kirk

Hi, my name is Gina, and I’m the mom everyone tells you not to be.

Allow me to introduce myself; I’m a mother of three boys, who range in age from 16 months to ten years. My hobbies include anything that will satisfy my need for creativity. I love to pack my kids fun and creative food for school, I enjoy DIY projects and crafts, and also love planning parties and celebrating pretty much everything. I’m also a writer, and I share my love for the kinds of things I mentioned above, on my blog at GinaKirk.com. However, I’ve noticed a trend among writers, mothers, and bloggers lately – and they all seem to be pointing in a similar direction, my direction. It turns out; I’m the mom that they are telling you not to be.

I am the mom who sends cute food into their kid’s class.

I am the mom who packs fun little bento boxes.

I am the mom who celebrates birthdays with a big, huge, gigantic bash, and with a cake and dessert table I created myself.

I am the mom who bakes homemade cookies for my neighbors.

I am the mom who makes handprint and footprint crafts with my toddler.

I am the mom everyone tells you not to be.

I am not perfect, nor do I strive to be.

I am not supermom, nor do I want to be called that.

I am not putting on a show, nor am I looking for attention.

I do what I do, because I love to do it.

I don’t judge other moms by what they send in for school snacks.

It doesn’t bother me to attend a party with a store bought cake and no party favors.

I don’t critique other moms based on what type of activities they do with their kids.

I do what I do, because my kids enjoy it.

Somewhere along the beaten path of the motherhood, someone thought they could encourage and empower other mothers by telling them that they don’t have to do the things I do in order to be a good mom.

They’re right, you don’t.

What many people don’t realize, however, is that that message can be hurtful to those of us who do these things.  Since when does creativity equal perfectionism? There are so many beautiful, talented, creative moms out there who actually enjoy making cute food, or party planning, or crafting – and have never done any of those things to make other moms feel bad about themselves. They’ve never tried to impose their hobbies, or ways on anyone else, or claimed to be a perfect mom, and they’re quite happy doing what they love.

Please stop mom shaming.

Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. I don’t want to be a perfect mom. I don’t want to be judged by how I pack lunch or celebrate birthdays. At the end of the day, I do what I do because I love it, and because my kids love it, not because I’m striving for perfection.

Isn’t that what it’s really all about?

 

About the author

Gina Kirk

Gina is a mom of three, DIYer and cute food enthusiast. She is the author of GinaKirk.com http://isshereally.com/ where you will find her DIY tutorials, lots of digital downloads and fun recipes. She shares her boys bento lunches everyday on Instagram, and recently launched an apparel and accessory shop for moms at https://www.momlifemusthaves.com/ . Through all of her work, Gina encourages moms to embrace and celebrate the chaos of motherhood

28 Comments

  • As if I didn’t already love and admire you, Gina! All the yes to this post!!! I feel the same way but am afraid to say it! I’ve even been talked about behind my back for being that way and for my blog, it’s not fair and it hurts! Thank you for sharing this!

    • Annie you are the sweetest! It look me a long time to put this into words, so I’m SO glad someone else can relate. I have had plenty of people talk about what I do too – and now I just let it roll off because as long as I’m having fun and so are my kids, then it shouldn’t matter! Sending love mama! xoxo

  • having stalked your instagram I LOVE the lunches you make!! your kids seriously must love opening their boxes every day. My kids will never have lunches like that and that’s okay. I think we all just need to accept ourselves and others just as we are as mothers, trying to do our best.

  • Mom shaming can go in many different directions but it really all comes down to blaming other moms for being good at something that we wish we were good at. I love your post because it sheds light on this truth. We all just need to encourage each other and honor each other!

  • I love this! I wrote one about being what I called a pinterest mom not because I loathe what they strive and love to do but because I tried and could not be her! Could not keep up. I had to find the medium that worked for me and my child. That’s all anyone can do! Find out what mothering works fort ou and do your best at that! I love seeing the cute lunches you make your kids!

  • So true and such a good reminder. I think you are amazing and I marvel at your skills. I am often the mom on the other end of the spectrum and this is an important thought for me. Thank you for sharing this, Gina!

  • I love this!!! I dont know why other parents feel the need to put each other down! I may not go over the top with everything, but I do like making things special for my kids and I enjoy it! I realize other people may not consider the things I do important or fun and that is fine with me! You do you!!

  • From a mom who wrote a post bashing fancy sack lunches, I hope you will read this other post I wrote. http://sosomom.com/blog/a-message-to-type-a-moms I don’t know if you fit all the type-A examples in the post, but certainly some of them. Those of us who aren’t moms like you feel we are being told we should be you (the crafts, cookies, snacks, and bento lunches are EVERYWHERE which makes us feel like lots of people must be doing this and we suck because we aren’t) and then you feel like you are being told you shouldn’t be like you.

    • Thank you for sharing this!! I am not one who is easily offended, to be totally honest. I have laughed at some of those blogs, one recently titled “take your bento box and shove it”. But after a while, they start to pile up and before I know it my newsfeed is clogged with blog posts telling new moms that they don’t have to do XYZ, it gets to the point sometimes when I have to take a little social media break because I get upset. I am like you and believe that we are meant to be the mothers that our children need, and that is really ALL that is important. As long as our kids are happy – nothing else really matters. Thank you for sharing mama <3

  • In the end, it’s all about how you love your kids. I’m amazed at your talent and ability to do these things, but that isn’t everyones expertise… and it doesn’t have to be! Thank you for honestly sharing, regardless of what others may think! Always be yourself!

  • Thank you for this! I am one of those creative moms. Although my daughter isn’t school age yet, I love doing cute little crafts with her and homemade things. This is a great post. Moms should build each other up, norbeshameful because some of us choose to put that extra effort in and its not a bad thing to not do it either. Every one has their own parenting style. ? Great job!

  • I LOVED this! I can totally relate. I am THAT mom too. I do these things because I enjoy them, I like seeing a finished product and it just makes me feel good. And sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t show people because then they’ll think I’m trying to show off. Thank you so much for writing this!

    http://www.myplotofsunshine.com

    • Oh mama, I have felt the same way! So proud of something but no one to show it to. That struggle is all too familiar to me. Sending love! xo

  • This is a beautiful post. I have learned that being a mom is equal to being a celebrity in terms of gossip and judgement. Everyone has something to say. It’s too bad. I do my best to always encourage and praise other moms. It would be a better world if everyone had a similar mindset to yours.

  • While I am not a mom but a dad, I have to agree with you on your statements. I think a lot of people just have something to say whether it’s good or bad. I haven’t come across dads who say a lot of things that aren’t really nice or things like that but I have to say that at the end of the day, I do whatever it is that pleases my kid. I do what I think is best for my kid.

  • I love this! You’ve clearly found joy in your calling to be a mother and you’re celebrating your calling! Props to you for living life to the fullest amidst your everyday reality.

  • I wish I could do all those things. Now that I am going to be a stay at home mom I will get the chance. I appreciate the the fact that you don’t expect other moms to be like you but there are some who definitely turn their noses up. At the end of the day I’m sure we are all trying our hardest to be the best we can for our kids.

  • SUCH an amazing, awesome, MUCH needed article!!! I can’t stand mommy shaming! We need to empower mothers to be comfortable being who they are, not someone else.