Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I ghosted Perfection. It’s true. We didn’t have big a fight, and there wasn’t a major incident. But as in any respectable ghosting, I came to terms with a relationship that wasn’t working for me, so even though I took my time, and even though it wasn’t easy, I ducked out. 

I stopped listening to it. I stopped responding to it. I stopped letting it control me. I became more and more distant.
Perfection didn’t go quietly. It put up a great fight. It guilted me. It made me question myself. I stayed strong.

I know that Perfection wants to get back together with me. Perfection pursues me, often. And I think about it with the nostalgia of that “one that got away.” I look back and reminisce back to the time when Perfection and I were going strong, when the house was always, always clean, when my closets were all organized, when my bathrooms were in order, when every room was vacuumed and dusted and when shoes were in a closet, and not strewn around every corner, when junk drawers hadn’t multiplied like gremlins overnight.

When everything had a place and there was a place for everything. 

Oh how I remembered those days.

I may even have a romantic notion of the relationship Perfection and I use to have, and there is no denying, there’s a little bit of longing on my part.

But the reality is that things weren’t working, most notably after the roommates that I took on, (more accurately gave birth to) one 11 years ago and the other 9 years ago. These pint-sized roommates were not very supportive of my relationship with Perfection. They were loud, obnoxious, demanding little people. They turned my home into what feels like a frat house, especially in their early days – staying up all hours of the night, crying, (sometimes for no reason), turning any room they were in into their own personal bathroom, vomiting on the carpet and couches.

They were totally inconsiderate. 

Once these miniature people learned to walk, they left a trail of food and toys behind them, fingerprints and smudges on every surface they touched.

I won’t lie, it created some friction. It was too much for Perfection.

These inconsiderate little slobs turned Perfection’s world upside down. And things got worse before they got better. Once we adopted our rescue pup, George Bailey, whose favorite pastime is to shed hair all over every surface, well, it was the beginning of the end. I needed to start facing facts.

But like any worthwhile break-up, you know when it’s time to let go. I began to realize that my relationship with Perfection was unbalanced; I gave much more to it than it did to me. Perfection was a selfish time-suck. Perfection was taking up too much of my time. Perfection was adding to my stress, leaving me feeling unhappy. When I didn’t do what Perfection wanted me to do, I felt like a failure. Perfection was very demanding, and if I am being really honest about it, Perfection was a bully, and well, I’ve never really been one to let myself get pushed around.

So even when I consider a reconciliation with Perfection, I hold steadfast, and stay strong. 

I won’t give in. I know the truth. 

I’m better off without Perfection.

Moving on hasn’t been easy. But it’s the right thing to do. Since I ended things with Perfection, I spend less time doing things that don’t matter. I’ve let some unimportant things go.

I won’t let a disorganized drawer make me feel like I’m failing at life, all because of Perfection.

Without Perfection in my life, I can now walk out of the house and go for my run while there is still daylight, rather than worry that I didn’t wash the floors yet. I sit at my kid’s soccer games, and focus on the game, not the pending and never-ending to-do list that Perfection had me strapped to all the time.

I can go for ice cream after the game without rushing home, feeling the guilt that Perfection use to hold over me, having me feel as though I wasn’t doing the things that IT wanted me to do.

Once I realized that Perfection was not contributing to my overall satisfaction, the decision to move on was much easier.

Perfection did not make me happy.

But devoting more time to my slobish and inconsiderate roommates, well, that’s where happiness lives. They are much more worthy of my time than Perfection ever was.

Now, I’m still friends with Obsessive and Compulsive, but that’s a story for another time.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Lori E. Angiel

Lori resides in the suburbia of Western New York with her husband, their 2 children and sweet rescue pup, George Bailey (because, it’s a wonderful life, after all). When not working, she is doing the soccer mom thing on the sidelines of a soccer field, running the local trails and streets (year round in the most obnoxious reflective gear available) with her running (a/k/a support) group while they train for what is always known as the "last race we are ever doing", or shopping at TJ Maxx or Target.  Her favorite things include her training runs, skiing with her family and yoga.  She is also very devoted to drinking wine and spending as much time as possible with her friends and family.  Whenever the opportunity presents itself, you will find her sitting on a beach (applying copious amounts of sunscreen on her kiddos)....all the while writing about the little things in life that occur to her along the way.

Being a Hands-on Dad Matters

In: Kids, Living
Dad playing with little girl on floor

I am a hands-on dad. I take pride in spending time with my kids. Last week I took my toddler to the park. He’s two and has recently outgrown peek-a-boo, but nothing gets him laughing like him seeing me pop into the slide to scare him as he goes down. He grew to like this so much that he actually would not go down the slide unless he saw me in his range of vision going down. When it’s time to walk in the parking lot he knows to hold my hand, and he grabs my hand instinctively when he needs help...

Keep Reading

5 Kids in the Bible Who Will Inspire Yours

In: Faith, Kids
Little girl reading from Bible

Gathering my kids for morning Bible study has become our family’s cornerstone, a time not just for spiritual growth but for real, hearty conversations about life, courage, and making a difference. It’s not perfect, but it’s ours. My oldest, who’s 11, is at that age where he’s just beginning to understand the weight of his actions and decisions. He’s eager, yet unsure, about his ability to influence his world. It’s a big deal for him, and frankly, for me too. I want him to know, deeply know, that his choices matter, that he can be a force for good, just...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love is the Best Medicine

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child lying on couch under blankets, color photo

When my kids are sick, I watch them sleep and see every age they have ever been at once. The sleepless nights with a fussy toddler, the too-hot cheeks of a baby against my own skin, the clean-up duty with my husband at 3 a.m., every restless moment floods my thoughts. I can almost feel the rocking—so much rocking—and hear myself singing the same lullaby until my voice became nothing but a whisper. I can still smell the pink antibiotics in a tiny syringe. Although my babies are now six and nine years old, the minute that fever spikes, they...

Keep Reading

Right Now I’m a Mom Who’s Not Ready to Let Go

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter hugging, color photo

We’re doing it. We’re applying, touring, and submitting pre-school applications. It feels a lot like my college application days, and there’s this image in my mind of how fast that day will come with my sweet girl once she enters the school doors. It’s a bizarre place to be because if I’m honest, I know it’s time to let her go, but my heart is screaming, “I’m not ready yet!” She’s four now though. Four years have flown by, and I don’t know how it happened. She can put her own clothes on and take herself to the bathroom. She...

Keep Reading

Each Child You Raise is Unique

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three little boys under a blanket, black-and-white photo

The hardest part about raising children? Well, there’s a lot, but to me, one major thing is that they are all completely different than one another. Nothing is the same. Like anything. Ever. Your first comes and you basically grow up with them, you learn through your mistakes as well as your triumphs. They go to all the parties with you, restaurants, sporting events, traveling—they just fit into your life. You learn the dos and don’ts, but your life doesn’t change as much as you thought. You start to think Wow! This was easy, let’s have another. RELATED: Isn’t Parenting...

Keep Reading

Our Kids Need Us as Much as We Need Them

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sitting on bench with dog nearby, color photo

During a moment of sadness last week, my lively and joyful toddler voluntarily sat with me on the couch, holding hands and snuggling for a good hour. This brought comfort and happiness to the situation. At that moment, I realized sometimes our kids need us, sometimes we need them, and sometimes we need each other at the same time. Kids need us. From the moment they enter the world, infants express their needs through tiny (or loud) cries. Toddlers need lots of cuddling as their brains try to comprehend black, white, and all the colors of the expanding world around...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading