By Wendy C 
Sometimes I forget who I married.
I forget I married a simple man who speaks in simple sentences. He gets his point across without feeling the need to sugar-coat it. He doesn’t have complicated thoughts. What he thinks, he speaks; what he feels, his face reveals. If he says he’s tired, he’s tired. Over the years, I learned I usually don’t have to pry to find out what’s on his mind. It’s relatively straightforward.
My husband is also not the most articulate. Those husbands who write soliloquies to their wives? I’m never going to receive something like that from mine. And those wives who have husbands who can communicate succinctly and eloquently? I don’t know what that’s like.
The man I married isn’t like that. And, as a writer and voracious reader, it’s been hard to come to terms with that sometimes. It inevitably leads to frustration and arguments. Arguments I know are futile. It’s the equivalent of buying a fish, then wishing it were a bird, then getting upset because it doesn’t act like all the other birds out there. I get jealous when I see these other bird-like husbands (truth be told, mainly on social media) because mine isn’t like that.
Does that mean my husband can’t change who he is? Absolutely not. He could always make changes if he wanted, but it would not change the fact that, at his core, he is a fish. And I need to remind myself of that whenever I feel disappointed he isn’t a bird.
He’s a fish—always was, always will be.
What he may lack verbally and emotionally, he makes up for in other ways. He can fix things. Oh, how he can fix things. He’s great with cars, tools, and machines. He’s always willing to help another person out with their cars, tools, or machines. He loves his gadgets. He’s all about efficiency (to the point that it drives me crazy). He’s meticulous.
More importantly, he’s a good husband and father. He is family-oriented. He provides for his family. He spends time with his family. He cooks, cleans, and does laundry.
So I have to remember who I married. Because when I forge and wish for someone else, it only leads to disappointment, unhappiness, and hurt feelings.
And I don’t want to feel that way. Nor do I want him to feel that way.
Because when things are going well, when we’re not in a marriage valley, I realize how beautifully matched we are. We’re both fish from the same ocean, just slightly different parts of that ocean.
So, while I may not always appreciate the fish I have swimming in front of me, perhaps this fish (instead of a bird) crossed my path for a reason, and what I need to do is love him for who he is, instead of pining over who he isn’t. Because when I do that, ours truly is a match made in heaven.
by Taihjma Harris 
by Jessica Wanner 
