When my husband and I decided to start trying for our family, I knew deep within my soul I was meant to be a boy mom. I just wasn’t programmed for girls—the pageants, cheerleading, gigantic bows, and tutus were not my thing. Don’t even get me started on what the teen years would do to me.
When we found out our first child would be a boy, I remember just crying with relief and sheer joy. He arrived and he was everything I had wanted and more. He was energetic, fearless, rambunctious, adventurous, curious, stubborn, outdoorsy, determined, and he loved his momma so fiercely. We could be at each other’s throats one minute, and the next he just wanted to snuggle up with ME. Boys are exhausting, but the bond between a mother and son is just beyond words.
When we became pregnant with baby #2, I just knew it was another boy.
I would tear up just imagining these two brothers growing up together as best friends and partners in crime for life and me wearing my #boymom badge so proudly. So when that gender reveal appointment came around, I had no doubt in my mind who was growing in my belly.
Our sweet ultrasound tech said, “It’s a girl!” and I felt a rush of adrenaline and my face flush. I think I even questioned her to make sure she didn’t make a mistake, and she proceeded to explain to us her anatomy on the screen. I left feeling happy for a healthy baby, but admittedly unsure if I would make a good girl mom and slightly disappointed that what I had envisioned for our family wouldn’t come to be.
I remember going to Target on my lunch that day and walking around the other side of the infant clothes section. You know, the one as a boy mom you always scoff at because it’s twice the size of the boy’s section? I vividly remember laying my eyes on the sweetest pink coverall with heart-shaped pockets, picking it up in the newborn size, and the tears just streaming down my face. That was the first thing I purchased for my girl.
On January 20, 2020 (right before life as we knew it became a complete circus), I held the most precious little girl in my arms for the first time and all that fear of whether I was cut out to be a girl mom just melted away. She was the polar opposite of my son. She was calm, laid back, quiet, and cautious, but more than anything she just exuded sunshine. The second she would lock eyes with you, she couldn’t help but flash you a huge grin.
Our son immediately fell in love with his baby sister and would lovingly bring her toys and rest his head on her. To watch their relationship form over the past year has been the highlight of motherhood for me. Nobody can make her belly laugh the way big brother does, and he loves nothing more than to be that person for her.
My husband put it perfectly one day as he held her, “I never knew I wanted to be a girl dad until I met you.”
This little angel with rolls in all the right places completed our family in a way we didn’t know we needed. She was also the best thing to come out of 2020. I will never look back at this year with anything but absolute gratitude. Gratitude that our original plan never came to fruition and gratitude that someone else’s plan was even better than we could’ve dreamed.
And that mom I never thought I could be? I’m happy to report to you that on any given day, you will find my daughter rocking the biggest bow known to man on her head, and she has also been known to sport a tutu from time to time. The truth is, I’ve flourished in my new role as a girl mom and now I can’t imagine life any other way. She brought balance where I didn’t realize we needed it. My son is the beautiful tornado and she is a warm, gentle breeze.
Now I get to imagine a future when her big brother looks out for her at school, when I teach her to know her worth and that no dream is too big, when I beam with pride seeing how she leaves her unique mark on the world, when I get to watch her daddy walk her down the aisle to her forever person (while I am most likely soaking in a puddle of tears), and more than anything . . . the day her life is changed by a tiny human the way she has changed mine.