Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

Threethe number of times I’ve been pregnant.

Threethe number of times I’ve had a boy.

By pregnancy number two, people started asking me, “Oh, are you trying for a girl this time?” The first time, I shrugged it off. Then I realized this was a question everyone asks.

By my third (and probably last) pregnancy, prior to finding out the gender, I got, “Could you even imagine if you had three boys?! Poor mama!” 

Like, seriously!? Poor mama!?

I know people were just trying to make what they thought was polite conversation.

What I didn’t expect was the feelings of hurt that started to sink in.

My life is already full of trucks, dirt, and wrestling matches. With two boys, a husband, and a male dog, I felt like I needed someone on my team. 

RELATED: I May Never Know What it’s Like to Be a Girl Mom

Of course, I would love a little girl in my life. You know, a little balance of estrogen in my household would be nice.

People innocently asking if I was trying for a girl made me feel incapable of producing something people seemed to view as extra special. A daddy’s little girl. A mommy’s best friend. Sugar and spice and blah blah blah.

When we finally received the news we were having a third and healthy boy, my feelings of worthlessness vanished and excitement began to creep in.

I was officially a boy mom for life. 

Until becoming a parent, people don’t really understand the joy that comes with creating another liferegardless of gender. Having a baby means there is someone on this planet who depends on you for safety and nurturing. It is your job to create a responsible, caring human being.

Sure, I can easily tell you the difference between a backhoe and a bucket loader. I am also a master at building forts and cleaning tinkle off toilet seats. However, my life is far from being all about sandboxes and mud pies.

RELATED: But Will You Try For A Boy?

Boy mom, girl mom, or moms with bothwe are all afforded with some amazing opportunities that are important no matter who we are raising.

We get to teach them unconditional love.

Young kids are always learning. They do amazing things and make big mistakes. We get to be there to love them through it all.

By providing a safe place for them to explore the world, they are able to become themselves and know their mom is going to be there every step of the way.

Moms get to be supporters, advocates, and protectors. Moms get to be superheroes.

We get to teach them it’s OK to show emotion.

Children will hear such crazy things from society about how they should act and react. 

Girls are overly emotional (stop overreacting) and boys should never cry (suck it up). These societal expectations are just plain ridiculous. 

RELATED: When You Have Both a Son and a Daughter

Moms get to be the ones to break down these barriers down and help our children build empathy and emotional intelligence. By helping our children work through their feelings, we get to promote strong interpersonal relationships, starting with the one they have with us.

We get to be Mom.

No one can replace the feeling of creating life. Our kids will want to share all of their triumphs with us. They’ll also need our help and encouragement when they fail.

No matter if we have a boy or a girl, our kids look to us in all things. 

When we become Mom, we also become a safe place for our children to land.

As Mom, we also get to be home for our children and that is the best privilege.

So, am I trying for a girl? No.

Even if I could control the genes that went into my child, I would just want to be sure they were healthy. Period. 

To all the well-meaning people who have politely (or not so politely) asked if I was trying for a girl during my second and third pregnanciesI will tell you what I was trying for:

I’m trying for the best darn kids on the planet, and I am so looking forward to raising them.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Kelly Giannuzzi

Kelly is a mom of two, soon to be three, boys. From her home in Connecticut, she writes about parenting, education, and psychology. 

Dear Daughter, It’s Okay If You Hate Me Right Now

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen girl looking up at mother

Dear daughter: I’ve heard it from you a thousand times when you don’t get your way. You yell it when your force of will doesn’t bend mine, thinking it will convince me to give in. But I’m here to tell you once and for all: I don’t care if you hate me right now. Last night you hated me because I made you take a bath before bed. This morning, it was because I made you wear pants. I’m the worst mom ever because I told you to eat a vegetable, and the whole day is ruined because I won’t...

Keep Reading

You’re Learning Life by Watching Me

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child touching mother's face as they lie on a bed

Every morning my daughter and I go outside for some fresh air. She feeds her chickens and plays and explores and walks around with her dog while I follow her around and have a cup of coffee.  This morning, my girl grabbed one of her coffee cups from her toy kitchen and brought it outside with her while she walked with her dog and pretended to take sips out of it.  Guys. I stood there watching her with her toy coffee cup, walking around with her animals, and I cried giant baby tears.  RELATED: I Wasn’t Counting On You Growing...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Love Means Slowing Down

In: Friendship, Kids
Two boys on bicycles riding to park, shown from behind

Think of something faster than a 7-year-old boy on a two-wheel bike. Maybe a race car at the drop of the checkered flag? Perhaps a rocket ship blasting into space? Or how quickly a toddler mom books it out of the house after being told she can have a hands-free hour ALONE in Target. Yes, all of these things are seriously speedy, but I have still never seen anything quite as quick as a boy on a bike on a sunny day with endless open track ahead of him. Until today. Today, my 6-year-old son wanted to ride bikes with...

Keep Reading

3 Ways to Help Your Firstborn Embrace Becoming a Big Brother

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
Pregnant woman holding toddler son, color photo

My oldest son turned four right after his first brother was born. Four years of alone time with his parents. Four years of extra mommy time during the week. Four years of having toys to himself, extra attention from family members, and more. I didn’t plan a four-year age gap; it took our family a lot longer and a lot more help than we expected to have our second son, but age gaps aren’t everything. When my second son was finally on the way, I heard a lot of opinions about how our oldest son would feel once he finally...

Keep Reading

I Am a Wrestling Mom

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three young boys with wrestling medals, color photo

As the sun is rising on a frigid winter morning, a brave and determined group of athletes are weighing in at a high school gym. They are physically and mentally preparing for a long day spent at a tournament where they will spend only minutes wrestling, despite the hours they sit and wait all day. Their sport uses offense, defense, and mental strength unlike any other sport. My sons and nephew are wrestlers. They are part of a special team of athletes who work together but compete as individuals.           Their youth team is run by all volunteer coaches with...

Keep Reading

Dear Busy Sports Mom: It’s Worth It

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Mom watching soccer game, photo from behind

My daughter stands on the front porch every morning and waves goodbye to me as I pull out of the driveway to go to work.  She is 11, and recently eye-rolling, long sighs, and tears have become more commonplace in our daily interactions. But, there is also this: “Bye! Have a good day!” she calls to me in the quiet of early morning, neighbors not yet awake in their still dark houses. “You are AMAZING! You got this!” she continues in her little adult voice, sounding more like a soccer mom than a fifth grader.   Her hair is still a...

Keep Reading

Goodbye to the Baby Hangers

In: Kids, Motherhood
Shirt hanging from small hanger, color photo

You bought them when you first found out you were pregnant. It may have been one of the first items, actually, to hold all of the precious new clothes. The smallest ones in your household. Do you remember that first newborn onesie you bought? It was one of your favorites. You couldn’t fathom you would soon hold something so small that would fit into that onesie. You washed all of the new clothing in preparation and hung them up in your baby’s closet. You know the item. A miniature version of the ones in your closet. Baby hangers. “Do we...

Keep Reading

Take the Trip, You Won’t Regret It

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood

Two years ago, in the middle of a snowy, windy, Colorado March, my husband and I made the spontaneous decision to road trip to Arizona with our three very young kids.  Even though I was excited, the nerves were so very real. Over the next couple of weeks, I literally lost sleep worrying about the logistics of our trip. My late-night mindless scrolling was replaced by searches like “traveling with toddlers” and “keeping kids entertained on road trips”. We already had our hands full chasing kids at home in a familiar setting. Were we crazy to think we could just...

Keep Reading

They’ll Remember the Love Most of All

In: Kids, Motherhood
Woman with kids from above, pregnant mother with kids hands on belly

You lie in bed at the end of a long day, the events of the day flashing back through your mind. You do this a lot—recap your day as a mama. How did you do? Did you maintain your patience? Did you play enough? Did you limit screen time? Did you yell less today than you did yesterday? You saw a really neat toddler activity in the group you’re a part of on Facebook . . . you should have done that with the kids. They would have loved it. There wasn’t enough time though, and you didn’t have all...

Keep Reading

He’s Slowly Walking Away with Footprints As Big As Mine

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Teen boy walking along beach shore

The true measure of a mother’s love is her willingness to wake up before the sun on vacation. On a recent trip to the shore, my youngest son begged to walk the beach at dawn to look for shells. So, I set my alarm, tumbled out of a warm, king-sized bed with extra squishy pillows, glared at my dead-to-the-world husband, and gently woke my 11-year-old. Without so much as a drop of coffee, we headed out into the morning, the sun still below the ocean horizon. With each step, I shed my zombie-like state and took in the quiet, salt-kissed...

Keep Reading