I’m sorry I appeared absent when you woke with so many things to say.

I promise I was listening, but my mind was on the day.

I’m sorry I appeared absent when you asked for your favorite snack.

I promise I was listening, but my mind was on the laundry stack.

I’m sorry I appeared absent when you showed me your favorite train.

I promise I was looking, but my mind was on what to do in the rain.

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I’m sorry I appeared absent when you told me your new favorite song.

I promise I was listening, but my mind was on putting things back where they belong.

I’m sorry I appeared absent when you shouted out “I love you.”

I promise I was listening, but my mind was on the billion other things I needed to do.

Then as you closed your eyes to sleep that night and as I got up to close your blind,  my absence from what you’d just said to me struck as I realized tomorrow was on my mind.

The peaceful silence of you sleeping made me really miss your voice, in that moment, I really heard you and realized I had made a bad choice. 

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That although I might be listening, it hit meI’m not really “there.” I know I need to give you more time. For you are only little once, my sweet baby bear.

All these thoughts of things to do can wait, you need me right here and now. I promise I will do better, for you, I promise, this is my vow.

Hannah Hutchings

Mama of two boysboth with additional needs and both equally as amazing and wonderful.