I yearn for it.
I wait for it.
I NEED it.
Don’t get me wrong, being your mommy is my favorite responsibility. I love that your birth ripped me from the corporate world and whirled me into a life full of lullabies and diapers. I enjoy being home with you every day—watching you grow and play. I thank God every night when my head hits the pillow for the precious time we get to spend together each day.
But sometimes, sweet child, I just need you to nap.
There are moments when I need a break. Moments when I want to turn on my music that has too many cuss words to qualify as baby-friendly. Moments when I want to take a shower and actually shave my legs. Moments when I want to have both hands free to do my daily tasks.
Yes, sweet child, sometimes I just need you to nap.
There are days that you fight me on this issue. I lay you down in the comfiest of places hoping you slide into a sweet slumber. I rock you. I sing your favorite songs. I rub your fuzzy little head and even grab you a fresh blanky to cuddle with. Yet, sometimes none of this works. You lay there and flash your toothless grin or play with your tiny bare feet while staring into my eyes.
I honestly never knew defiance could look so adorable until you came along.
But some days we do accomplish what I have coined “mission impossible.” I manage to get you to fall peacefully asleep somewhere other than my arms.
For a few moments, I cheer silently. Then my mind floods with options and opportunities.
Do I call that friend I have been neglecting?
Do I check my 352 unread emails?
Do I take a shower and wash out all of the dry shampoo?
My choice varies from time to time. Sometimes I just sit and do nothing the entire time you rest and feel no shame in doing so.
But one thing is always the same. I always enjoy the first few minutes of solace. But eventually, every time you are finally down for a nap, I miss you and wonder when you will wake back up.