Illinois High School Has the Right Idea: Prom Dates are Assigned

Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

This is Bailey. Sixteen-year-old Bailey to be exact. Also known as “me.” And next to me is my handsome prom date for the Eustis-Farnam 2001 prom. He is now lovingly referred to as “handsome hubby.”

Yes, I’m that girl who married my high school sweetheart, and I’ll be the first to admit that real love can exist for teens. But having lived the life, I’ll also be the first to admit that relationships and dating should not be the focus of high school.

I came across an article on Today.com that highlighted a long-standing tradition at a high school in Illinois. In a very small school of less than 100 students, a tradition holding since 1926 remains today. As prom night approaches, all junior and senior boys in the school make their way to the library to randomly draw the names of their prom dates. The girls anxiously await the boys’ arrival in the gym where they are finally treated to a skit (put on by the boys) that will reveal their dates for the fun-filled evening. Every year the students are asked if they would like to continue the tradition. And every year, the vote is a unanimous and enthusiastic, “Yes!”

Today.com reported the following that truly caught my attention:

“Even students with regular boyfriends or girlfriends participate, and the prom turns into more of a group activity than a romantic date, with friends eating and taking pictures together throughout the night.

‘It’s less of a date and more like something fun to do with your classmates,’ junior class adviser Michelle Gallagher told NBC affiliate WREX.”

So answer me this. When did prom turn into a night designed for the glorification of teen romance? I even wrote another post in 2015 about the societal trend in which boys are being pressured to “propose prom” to girls in order to one-up each other. Gag me. I don’t agree with it…never will. As a former high school teacher turned college lecturer, I can tell you with complete confidence that these kids don’t want the pressures put on them. Most just want to be teenagers. They are going along with society. And honestly, society has some work to do when it comes to expecting kids to grow up much faster than needed or wanted.

Let kids be kids. And yes, teens are still kids.

Now remember, I was one who focused on relationships in high school. And you know what? I missed out on some awesome moments with friends because I focused so hard on having a boyfriend. I made my choice, and I’ll even say it was right for me since clearly it turned out the way it was supposed to. I know other teens will make their choices too. The bottom line is, nobody is “wrong” for focusing on what they believe to be most important at any given point in life.

But if society could de-emphasize teen romance and re-emphasize teen fun and friendships at prom time, would that be so wrong? Would it be bad for us to set an example for teens that a dance can be just that and only that? And what would happen as a result?

I taught special education for seven years in public school. Now, I have the honor of teaching at the university level and preparing future educators to be advocates for all students. And I’ll tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart – being an advocate for students goes far beyond the classroom. It’s about standing up for kids. It’s about standing up for their rights. It’s about telling them it’s okay to be kids, it’s okay to screw up, and it’s okay to be both awesome and awful at the same time. It’s about teaching them to focus on positivity and on what they can do as opposed to what they can’t. It’s about inclusion.

So back to that question – What would happen as a result of randomly drawing for prom dates?

Inclusion. Fun. Freedom. Less pressure. Dancing. Group fun. Acceptance. The words, “Kids will be kids.” Memories.

As a former high school student who married my high school sweetheart, a current pre-teen mother, and a teacher, I love this idea and fully support it. I know not everyone will agree, and that’s okay. But it’s something to think about. And as a teacher, if I can make you question, research, and re-think something you believed to be completely true before, I’ve done my job.

Follow our blog and learn more about our story from the following links…

https://jeremyandbaileyblog.com/

www.jeremyandbailey.com

https://www.facebook.com/jeremyandbaileykoch/

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now

So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Her View Shop

high school prom

Bailey Koch

Bailey Koch is an advocate for those who can't easily advocate for themselves in every way. Married to her hottie hubby, whom has survived 5+ suicide attempts, and mom to two teenage boys, the oldest with High Functioning Autism and youngest with Epilepsy, Bailey is passionate about mental health and parenting through the messy realities. Additionally, Bailey is a Doctor of Special Education and works as an instructor at the University of Nebraska at Kearney preparing future special educators to be advocates for the learning of all. Bailey and her husband, Jeremy, have written and published two books. "Never Alone: A Husband and Wife's Journey with Depression and Faith" details their struggles with severe depression and the journey toward understanding their purpose, accepting help, and finding faith. "When the House Feels Sad: Helping You Understand Depression" is written for families, at a child's level, to open up a conversation about the reality of Depression. Follow their journey, the triumphs and the challenges, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/anchoringhopeformentalhealth and Instagram at @anchoringhopeformentalhealth.

Putting Our Christian Kids in Public School Was Absolutely the Right Choice For Our Family

In: Faith, Kids, School

I was in the middle of an online mom group conversation when the subject turned to education. One mama commented that her family had decided to send their kids to private Christian school. “It’s a big sacrifice,” she said, “but it’s worth it. I just couldn’t bear to throw my kids to the wolves of public school.” I read that comment and thought about my own children, sitting among those wolves at that very moment. And they were there not because my husband and I couldn’t or wouldn’t make the sacrifice to send them somewhere else—but because we’d deliberately, intentionally...

Keep Reading

Dear Teacher, I See You

In: Journal, School

I see you struggling to make ends meet. You look at how much is coming in and how much is going out, and you don’t know how you’re going to do it. Again. You wonder if this is a never-ending cycle. Will it always be this hard? Will you make it to retirement? Do you even want to make it to retirement, or should you run away and find the quickest job you can find just so you don’t have to argue with another child about whether or not you actually witnessed him talking when he was supposed to be...

Keep Reading

Dear God, Please Fill the Holes

In: Child, Faith, Motherhood, School

When I drop my kids off at school and they all pile out with bags and water bottles and lunch boxes as the line lady urges us forward (“Pull forward!!!”) I always smile and cheerily say something like, “Have a great day!” or “See you after school!” or “Love you guys!” But that’s not all I really want to say. That’s not what I want to press into them as they leave me for seven hours of the day to friends and not friends and teachers and schoolwork and pressure and LIFE. I want to say, “I know it’s hard....

Keep Reading

Dear Girl, Your Best Friend is Out There

In: Child, School

This school year, I hope you finally find a best friend. I know you struggle with making connections. Your fierce independence doesn’t exactly help attract playmates. You don’t understand why everyone doesn’t always want to play what you want to play, or why they don’t always share your same likes and interests. From the moment you started school, I have longed for the days of you coming home and asking if you can have a sleepover. I have wished you would connect with someone. I’ve laid in bed at night and prayed you would meet another little girl who loves...

Keep Reading

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

In: Inspiration, Kids, School, Teen

When Paula and Kevin Burckard’s third child was born, she arrived with a little something extra the North Dakota couple never saw coming. Newborn Grace had Down syndrome, and the diagnosis initially left the young parents devastated. “When Grace was born, I thought all my dreams for my daughter had basically been dashed,” Paula said. But it didn’t take long for those fears to subside. As Grace grew, not only did she meet and surpass milestones, her infectious joy, inspirational grit, and deep love of all things Michael Jackson transformed the family—and countless hearts. The Burckhards went on to adopt...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Will Turn Out Just Fine Even if They Don’t Do All the Things

In: Kids, School, Teen, Tween

My teenage daughters teach a preschool dance class, and one night not too long ago, they had a very unhappy client. The poor thing was crying and screaming and was generally miserable. She did not want to be there . . . not that night and not ever. Oh, I remember those days. My own oldest dancer was a very unhappy beginning ballerina at one point . . . so unhappy that we pulled her out of class without even finishing the month we’d paid for. (Yes, I know you’re not supposed to do that.) Five years after she hung up...

Keep Reading

Our Daughter Hated School; We Finally Discovered Why (and How to Help)

In: Child, Mental Health, School

I wish we had clued in to our daughter’s generalized anxiety disorder a lot earlier then we did. It’s not for a lack of information available, it’s just that you don’t research it when you believe your child simply hates school. I mean our generation struggled with complicated friendships, PE class, and strict teachers too. Even our great-grandmothers had to survive the “mean girls”. So, our children will make it through, too, right? The problem is sometimes it’s more than just struggling to fit in; it’s a debilitating anxiety that leaves them feeling like they are treading in water over...

Keep Reading

What Happens When we Stop Pushing Our Kids so Hard?

In: Journal, Kids, School, Teen, Tween

I kick them from the house, drag my tweens to this leafy patch of monkey bars, repurposed tires, and shade. It is summer, and the whole neighborhood has stared at screens, practiced math and dozed like molting snakes for too many hours. So my children do not want to be here, and they show me; their disdain vibrates off their shoulders. Hands deep in their pockets as they kick at the gravel, then a silver slide, they sip boredom with each roll of the eyes. Even worse, I have made them leave their cell phones in the car, although their...

Keep Reading

The Excitement of the First Day of School is Over…Now What?

In: Child, Kids, School

I still remember the excitement of the first day of school, and I’m old. The smell of newly-sharpened pencils and the tower of new books stacked on top of our desks was mesmerizing. It was also fun because my early September birthday coincided with the beginning of school and the Miss America pageant, which I was confident I would win someday. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t.) Finding my friends and comparing summer adventures and the latest shoe styles was uppermost in my mind. We wore uniforms, so the only way to be unique was with a great pair of shoes. (Another...

Keep Reading

Want Your Kid to Succeed? Don’t be a Lawnmower Parent

In: Kids, School, Teen, Tween

At a recent back to school night for my middle school daughter, one of her teachers explained that it is time for our kids to take responsibility for their grades, and each student needed to be personally accountable. He told the classroom of parents that several kids received a zero on an assignment for not completing it on time, but it was a minimal portion of their grade. “The point is for them to understand from the get-go that deadlines are important, and there will be consequences.” Several parents, including me, subtly checked phones to see if our kids received...

Keep Reading