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Moms seem to always get flack on basically everything under the sun. From breastfeeding in public to what form of discipline we use on our children, so many act like they are allowed to judge us for those decisions.

While I honestly don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge another parent, especially one they don’t know, there is one topic I’m so sick of hearing about and being made to feel bad about: having a clean house.

I can’t tell you how many articles, memes, group chats and face-to-face conversations I’ve seen and/or had with other moms who seem to have some kind of unofficial club of moms who don’t have the time, energy, or motivation to clean their homes and if you are not in it then you are not cool.

Well, I’m one of those unicorns that actually cleans her house every day, manages to fold my laundry by the time my head hits my pillow most nights and makes my kids pick up their own toys when they are done playing with them.

I don’t say these things to brag or compare my home’s level of organization and cleanliness to yours. I’m saying this because I’m sick of people looking at moms that keep their homes clean and orderly like we have it all together and think we are better than those of you that don’t.

I’m here to tell you it’s not true. We are hot mess moms, too. We swear, get frustrated and are far from perfect. Yet, the current mood in the world of moms is to make us feel bad, superhuman, obsessive or like we’re neglecting our children somehow because our houses are clean. I mean really, isn’t it ridiculous?

There’s the saying, “Excuse the mess we’re busy making memories.” I think the sentiment behind the words are wonderful but when I see that when I go to your house it makes me feel like somehow I’m a bad mom because my house is tidy. And yes, I know I’m probably being too sensitive but when I’m reading this article, seeing that meme or hearing that mom at play group discuss this topic and how I’m somehow suddenly an outcast because I don’t fit the norm it gets old, you know?

How about we just stop judging each other? How about we go to each other’s homes and just enjoy our time together without the need to worry about if our houses are clean or not? I know when I go to my friend’s house I don’t care if she has clean counters or if she has a pile of laundry on her sofa or not. It’s her home and her family lives there not mine. She can do what she wants. Just like I’d ask her not to form an opinion of me based on the fact that I rarely have clutter on my kitchen table and I strive to get my laundry put away within a day of doing it.

So, the next time you are talking to a mom like me who likes to maintain a well-kept house, but could not care less if you do, just remember there are two sides to this issue. Just know that I’m not putting my kids needs/enjoyment/memory making last because my house is orderly and I know you aren’t either because yours might not be as neat.

We’re all on this crazy ride called motherhood, whether we have sticky floors or sparkling sinks.

Britt LeBoeuf

Britt is a married mother of two from northern New York. She has an undergraduate degree in Human Services. When she's not chasing down her two young children, she writes for sites such as Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, Filter Free Parents and Sammiches and Psych Meds. Check out her first published book, "Promises of Pineford" on Amazon too. On her blog, These Boys of Mine, she talks about parenting only boys, special needs parenting, mental health advocacy, being a miscarriage survivor and life as a crazy cat lady. 

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