Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I am convinced that fellow mom friends are as vital to becoming a mother as diapers. They serve a very similar purpose. They keep me from losing my sh#!, help hide the fact that I just peed my pants, and give me a sense of security. I could be a mother without them, but I am a much more put together mother because of them. We share laughter with one another, empathy, tears, wine, coffee, chocolate, prayers, supportive silence, and an unspoken understanding. We are there to talk about and work through motherhood together, and no matter how mundane or redundant a topic may be, mom friends are there to listen and help you through it all.

Among the many topics I have breached with my fellow mom friends is the issue of comments received from strangers in public places. When we are having good mothering days, feeling as though we are rocking this motherhood business, such comments brush past us with ease, but on days when we are doing all we can to hold it together, a stranger’s comments can make being a mother ten times more difficult.

Thus, on behalf of me and so many of my mom-friends, here are five things I would encourage the random stranger to think about before letting a comment fall from their mouth onto a mother’s heart.

1. That mom you see knows what she is doing. She is more than likely a very good mother who knows her baby and what that baby needs. It is nice of you to remind us that maybe they are hungry, or tired, and maybe they are, but we also need to eat and I just need to get through that check-out line so please just smile at me and maybe even help unload the cart.

2. It is never acceptable, at any other point in life, to make shocked comments out loud about someone’s size, why is pregnancy the exception? I am not about to pop, and yes, I am positive that I am not having twins. I am, however going to bring new life into the world soon, so maybe just a simple “congratulations” would suffice.

3. Babies come in all different shapes, colors, and sizes. They are all individuals with their own set of talents and unique personalities. If your comment is going to question why a baby looks a certain way, or looks different from their parent, or whether or not they have met a specific milestone, please refrain or swap it out for a compliment. It is so easy for a new mother to be sensitive about their child. We take it all in as a reflection of what we are doing right or wrong, so just know that for us, it isn’t just small talk, especially from a stranger.

4. Thank you for your excitement about our children. We also think he/she is beautiful and perfect in every way, but please, please don’t touch them, or ask if you can hold them. It’s awkward to feel like we are being rude, but we don’t know you, at all, and many of us really want our children to develop a healthy balance of being polite to strangers, and yet knowing how to keep an appropriate distance. We live in a scary world and unfortunately, trusting everyone and anyone is just naïve. Please respect our instinct to protect our children, and don’t be offended when we tell you no. Not to mention, babies put their hands in their mouth all the time, so when you touch our babies’ hands all we can think about is whether or not you have washed yours.

5. We may be overwhelmed, our hands may be full, our toddler may be throwing a tantrum, but we are okay. We are surviving and powering through, and we know that these moments are fleeting. We will miss these days, even though some days all we can do is count down the minutes until bedtime. Children will get upset and voice their feelings loudly, they are learning to work through their emotions, and babies do cry, it’s their main form of communication. Let children be children without judging, and don’t panic if the baby cries. Trust us, don’t doubt us. Empower us, don’t pity us, we got this.

So stranger rather than comment, lets come to a mutual understanding that the diaper is on, all the crap is contained, and if opinions are needed, that’s why mothers have mom friends.

 dributts

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Malia Garcia

I am a student to my children, attempting to share any wisdom I have mustered over the years, but often learning more than I teach, wife to a very determined and hard-working man, dreamer of much, and an ever-growing follower of Christ. After traveling and living abroad I have found my way back to my hometown in Wyoming and am finally appreciating the wide-open spaces and small town atmosphere that I craved to escape as an adolescent. I am passionate about raising my daughter bilingual and value diversity. Wine, chocolate, and coffee are my fuel, and writing and running are my outlets. I am easily found outside and count motherhood as my biggest challenge and blessing.

Dear Graduate, I Love You Forever

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Kindergarten grad

I never imagined these days of preparing for graduation, senior prom, senior photos, and you actually moving out would come. A few weeks into your life, friends gifted you a 6-month sleeper. I remember the cuddly white footie pajamas well. But I swore you’d never get big enough to wear it. How could this 8-pound human grow to fit into 6-month clothes? Impossible. And then somehow they did fit, and then they didn’t anymore. Just like that. Everyone says the days are long but the years are short. Everyone, that is, who has had a lot of years. When I...

Keep Reading

Always Choose Adventure

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Two children looking at aquarium exhibit, color photo

Here’s the thing about traveling with little kids. Is it hard? Sometimes. Sometimes it looks like a whole carry-on dedicated solely to snacks, activities, and emergency treats. Sometimes it looks like buying a drink for the passenger next to you as a way of saying sorry and thank you all at the same time for the airplane kid chaos they endured. Sometimes it looks like altering your picture-perfect itinerary that you meticulously planned on account of missed naps finally catching up. Sometimes it looks like washing a car seat off in a hotel shower because your toddler got carsick, then...

Keep Reading

Love Beyond Words

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugging daughter

My daughter Lexi lost her words and some of her motor functioning when she was two years old. She was three when the silent intruder of Rett Syndrome made itself known through seizures. But here’s the heart of our story: even without words, Lexi and I have created our own language—a symphony of unspoken love. She may not call me “Mom” in the traditional sense, but her eyes, her laughter, and the unique sounds she makes speak volumes to my heart. Each day with Lexi is a dance—one where the steps aren’t always clear, and the rhythm can change in...

Keep Reading

Daddy, Am I Beautiful?

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Daddy holding preschool-aged daughter, color photo

“Daddy, do I look beautiful?” I heard my daughter ask my husband from the other room. I barely heard what she said as I was in the kitchen washing the dishes, but her words struck a chord in my heart. My sweet girl, all dressed to go out, asked for her Daddy’s assurance that she was beautiful, that she was admired and special. It hit me in that moment: this pure and built-in desire we all have to be loved, admired, and wanted. Just as my sweet girl wanted her Daddy’s approval and assurance of love, I so often cry...

Keep Reading

Sensitive Sons Are Strong Too

In: Kids, Motherhood
Boy pets kitten held by another older boy

My son has always been timid. When he was a baby, he cried when he lost his pacifier in his crib. If I laughed too loudly, he might burst into tears. Once, he was asleep in his bassinet as my husband and I turned on a movie. The MGM lion roared, and he woke in a panic that seemed to take forever to calm. Now, at five years old, my son wrestles, runs, fights, and screams at the television. He pretends to fight bad guys and save me and his twin sister. He thinks he is the king of the...

Keep Reading

Wrestle Like a Girl

In: Kids, Motherhood
Girls wrestling team huddling on the floor

I’m a wrestling mom, but I’m a new breed. I’m the kind with my little girl on the mat. Sure, I support our son out there, and I scream like a wild banshee with the rest of the crazy parents, and I’m in awe of the athletes these boys are. But then steps out our daughter. And it’s different. She decided to join her big bro at practice years ago when word was just starting to spread about the possible emergence of girls’ wrestling. She was only in kindergarten, but I think my husband might have already been thinking college....

Keep Reading

I’ll Hold on To Moments of Childhood with My Preteen as Long as I Can

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Smiling preteen and mother

This Christmas season, my husband took our laser light projector and aimed it at the Australian bottle tree in the front yard. It shone like a thousand red and green fairies dancing through the branches. The first time I saw it, I gasped with glee. Christmas came and went. Much to our 6-year-old’s disappointment, we took down the decorations and boxed them in the attic until next year. I noticed that my husband forgot to put away the light projector though. One Friday night, recovering from a stomach bug, we decided to watch Wonka and fold laundry. We bought into the...

Keep Reading

“Tell Me Another Story, Daddy?”

In: Kids
Man reading to young son

“Tell me another story, Daddy?” I had heard these words since we had finished supper. My 5-year-old son loves hearing stories. He loves to put himself in these stories. He doesn’t just watch Paw Patrol, he’s in Paw Patrol. He is a Kratt brother. And he loves hearing stories about his favorite adventurers with him saving the day alongside his animated heroes. While I absolutely love telling stories to my son, there are many days when I don’t feel like it. When I want to say, “No, Daddy is tired. Why don’t you go play with your toys while daddy...

Keep Reading

Getting Glasses Can be an Adjustment

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Pre-teen wearing glasses

On their last break from school, my daughter and son happily enjoyed a nice week of catching up with friends and having a relaxed schedule. I was careful to avoid overloading our schedule so we had a nice balance of days out and days being at home. As can often happen on a school break, I used one day as our “appointments day.” We had our routine dental checks and eye exams booked. The morning went smoothly with the dentist, and then it was time to head home for lunch. Next, we popped back out to do the children’s eye...

Keep Reading

To the Fifth Grade Parents: Thank You

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Arcade style photo machine, color photo

To the fifth-grade parents in my community: How are we here already? The end of fifth grade. The end of elementary school. It feels like yesterday we saw each other at kindergarten drop off, some of us through the tears of sending our first baby to school, some seasoned pros, and a small group of us with a touch of extra worry in our mama hearts—the special ed mamas. Among the many things I worried about sending my kindergarten son to school was how your children would treat him. Would they laugh at him like they did at his Montessori...

Keep Reading