Kids Grow Up—It's Not Sad, It's Life

I remember the moment so clearly. It was as if something profound happened to make time stand still, yet it was just an ordinary trip to the grocery store with my then-two little girls.

I was rushing, as usual, when an older mom gazed down at the kids and then back at me. I was prepared for whatever words of wisdom she was about to impart and wasn’t surprised when she told me how fast this phase of life would pass me by. A snippet of wisdom heard on repeat by so many young mothers. My face must have spoken for me, looking distraught at the thought of my babies all grown up.

She wasted no time and looked me square in the face and simply and matter-of-factly said, “It’s not sad, it’s just life.” She finished selecting her produce and walked away as if she hadn’t just floored me with this simple truth. I stood there for a second, sort of dumbfounded, then felt a sense of relief from how she was flipping the usual narrative. It’s not sad. Raising kids and watching them grow is exactly what’s to be expected. It is, exactly as she pointed out, life.

It’s been many years, many shopping trips, and many well-meaning comments from veteran moms to count since that day. My little girls are now both in high school and have a brother not far behind. Yet, I still come back to the woman’s words time and again.

I find them comforting at the beginning of every school year when the passage of time feels so palpable or when I’m cleaning up from another holiday season or birthday party. Celebrating a new driver or winning the championship game. Endless bedtime routines have been replaced with quick hugs goodnight and texts from the second floor instead of snuggles.

I don’t want the chaos of this chapter to end, but I do want life to go on, so I try to remind myself that someday, not that far from now, my kids will in fact be grown up, and it’s not something to mourn.

Sad, happy, complicated, frustrating, joyful, confusing, exhausting, remarkable—this is life. Sometimes a simplified view of parenthood is exactly what we need to shift our focus from emotional overwhelm to gratitude. All of the milestones and moments of childhood eventually add up to a competent young adult standing before you.

If I could, I would hug that stranger at the grocery store because that interaction helped me to take a second to realize parenthood, like life, constantly moves forward and part of the joy is to move forward with it so you don’t miss a thing.