Free Shipping on Orders Over $75 🍁

“Does your daughter have any siblings?” It’s an odd question, but one I’ve been asked frequently throughout the years. Why is it odd?

Well, because I’m very open about my daughter being an only child. I had to undergo several rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF) before my daughter was born, and she came to be in our last round.

It was a very difficult time in my life as it was an emotionally and physically draining experience. The emotional effects persisted for a couple of years after our daughter was born, and my body took a permanent hit from the heavy doses of hormones.

RELATED: God Chose Me To Raise An Only Child

I share my experiences with those who want to hear because it may help someone else going through a similar experience. So why am I often asked if my daughter has siblings by people who should know she’s an only child? 

Because she tells people she has siblings.

My father-in-law passed away when my daughter was six. He usually said the blessing at Thanksgiving, and we were at a loss the first year we gathered without him. My daughter had made a turkey at school with things she was thankful for written on each of the paper feathers. My mother-in-law decided to read them as the blessing before dinner.

You can imagine the confusion when my mother-in-law announced that one of the feathers said, “My sister.”

“What sister?” I asked my daughter, but she just shrugged and didn’t answer my question. I didn’t press her further given we were already in a heightened emotional state.

RELATED: When Jesus Met You in Heaven

In second grade, the first entry in her school journal was, “I’m an only child. I have two sisters, but they stay at my grandma’s a lot.” I didn’t see it until the journal came home at the end of the year, so I just laughed it off thinking it was her attempt at creative writing. (I will admit I was slightly worried about what her teacher thought of me.)

There were many other times she claimed having siblings, such as during a math lesson on bar charts when she raised her hand with the other kids who said they had brothers and/or sisters.

And then there were the parents of her friends who shared with me that my daughter told their kid(s) she had siblings.

It was happening often, and I was at a loss with what to do. She never talked to me or my husband about itshe just told other people she had siblings. I thought maybe this was an only child thing. That maybe she felt different than her friends, and so she invented siblings so she could fit in.

She already had an imaginary friend, who had an odd name and was a boy. She talked openly about him to us and said he wasn’t real, so we knew this wasn’t the same kind of situation. 

After a lot of careful consideration, we decided to tell her some of her story. She was still young, so we only told her what we thought she could understand. We told her we had to have help from a doctor to have her. I even told her we had a picture of her as an embryo, which was something cool that her friends didn’t have because she was unique. 

She asked to see the picture, and without hesitation, she asked why there were four. I told her it was because four embryos were transferred in her round, but she was the only one to survive and become a baby.

She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “So my siblings are in Heaven.”

At that moment I knew.

She hadn’t been inventing siblings. It was as if she had FELT her missing siblings. 

RELATED: Grandma Kissed You in Heaven Before You Were Born

She was connected to them in a way I never even thought could be possible. It was also the moment I could tell she had finally gained clarity. Her siblings weren’t missingthey were in Heaven and were waiting for her.

She’s 13 now, and she still tells friends she has siblings or that she’s a twin or a quad. When she answers any of those social media questions the kids pass around, she marks that she has siblings who have passed away.

Many who hear her story don’t understand. They think she’s making it up or just trying to get attention.

But she’s not. Deep down she has always known she had siblings.

Them not being in her life left a gap, and she copes by talking about iteven if those who hear it don’t understand.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Carrie Beckort

Carrie Beckort has a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Purdue University and an MBA from Ball State University. She spent 17 years in the corporate industry before writing her first novel, KINGSTON'S PROJECT. She lives in Indiana with her husband and daughter.

The Letting Go Happens Tooth by Tooth

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy smiling missing a tooth

There is something about a toothless grin. Not the gummy smile of infancy, but the wide-gapped delight of a child who has newly lost a tooth. Today’s was not the first tooth my son has lost—the first was over a year ago—but today, the fifth tooth, was a top one, and today his smile seemed to announce with an oh, so in my face clarity, that he and I had better make room for adulthood (or at least, pre-tweendom?). He is shedding his babyhood. Those teeth that kept me up at night on their way in have outgrown their use....

Keep Reading

To the Parents Facing a Child’s Illness: You Are Strong

In: Grief, Kids, Motherhood
Toddler with cast and IV looking out window

If you are the parents who just sat for hours in a cold doctor’s office to hear that your child has a life-threatening illness, you are so strong.  If you are the parents who can’t bring yourself to decorate or celebrate the unknown because you don’t know if they’ll ever come home, you are so strong.  If you are the parents who travel or relocate to deliver your child in one of the best hospitals with hopes it will change the outcome, you are so strong. If you are the parents who learn all the medical terminology so you understand...

Keep Reading

I Am a Mother Evolving

In: Grown Children, Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Mother and child walking by water in black and white photo

Those who mean well squawk the refrain— “The days are long, but the years are short.” They said I would miss it— little feet and newborn baby smell nursing in the wee hours with a tiny hand clutching mine. Tying shoes,  playing tooth fairy,  soothing scary dreams. They were fine times, but I do not wish them back. RELATED: Mamas, Please Quit Mourning Your Children Growing Up I rather enjoy these days of my baby boy suddenly looking like a young man in a baseball uniform  on a chilly Wednesday in April. And my Amazonian teenage girl  with size 11...

Keep Reading

Kids Need Grace and So Do Their Moms

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
Woman touching child's forehead

We were having a hard morning. Our house was overrun with toys, I hadn’t had a chance to get dressed, and my stress level was increasing by the minute. To top it all off, my 3-year-old was having a meltdown anytime I spoke to her. Even looking in her general direction was a grave mistake. It was one of those days that as a parent, you know you’re really in for it. I was quickly losing my patience. My frustration began to ooze out of me. I snapped orders, stomped around, and my attitude quite clearly was not pleasant to...

Keep Reading

As a Nurse, This Is How I Prepared My Daughter for Her First Period

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Woman wearing sunglasses with hands on the sides of her face and smiling, black and white photo

I don’t remember my first period, which means my mother had me well prepared. This doesn’t mean I was okay with it. I remember feeling awkward and tense each time. And honestly, for many years, shopping for feminine hygiene products filled me with unease. But wait a minute! There shouldn’t be anything shameful about something that will recur for about half of a woman’s life! Who decided it was to be a sensitive subject? Aren’t we all supposed to show empathy toward each other when it comes to this?  I say, pass the Midol around, sister! I knew the time...

Keep Reading

With Grandkids, It’s The Little Things

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Nine children sitting on a couch together

We had just pulled into the driveway when our youngest grandtwins, 3-year-old Ellis and Brady, came running out the front door and down the steps to hug us. “Let me see your earrings, Grandma,” Ellis said, reaching up to pull me down to his level. “The green M&Ms!  I told you, Brady!” “Those are the ones our brother Adler picked out for you!” Brady yelled as he ushered us into the house and started going through the tote bag I always carry for them, filled with favorite books from our house and three little bags of snacks in the bottom....

Keep Reading

Childhood Is Not a Race

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Two young girls playing in creek bed, color photo

Sweet child, I know you want to grow up. You want to get older and do more and more. I see you changing day after day. You are no longer a little girl, but you’re turning into a young lady. You’re becoming this wonderful person who leads and cares for others. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. But don’t rush out of your childhood. It’s this beautiful season where wonder and discovery live. It’s this beautiful time when you don’t have to carry the weight of adulthood. It’s this beautiful time. Savor it. Slow down and enjoy it. Breathe in...

Keep Reading

There’s Something Special about Band Kids

In: Kids

There is something incredibly special about band kids. The hours of practice that begin in elementary school. It’s the squeaking and squawking of a new alto or the flutter of early flute days, high-pitched honks from a trumpet, constant and consistent tapping . . . drumming on everything. And gallons of spit too, until one day a few years down the road, you realize all that practice time has turned into an incredible melody and skill. The alarm that goes off at 5:35 a.m., and before most people are awake, band kids have sleepily found a quick breakfast bite, grabbed...

Keep Reading

You’ll Grow So Much In Kindergarten and I Can’t Wait to Watch

In: Kids
Two young children in backpacks walk toward a school building

On her seventh day of school, my kindergartener doesn’t cry. It was a long road to this day. For the first six days of school, we experienced varying degrees of screaming, clinging, running back inside our house and slamming the door, and expressing general displeasure with the whole idea of school. “I wanna stay home with YOU, Mommy!” “But Charlotte, you are bored out of your mind every day of the summer. You hate it.” “No I don’t. I LOVE IT.” “Well we can spend every afternoon after school and all weekend together. You’ll be tired of me in five...

Keep Reading

Six Feels So Much Bigger

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Little girl with horse, color photo

Six . . . Six is only one number more than five,  one grade, one year . . . but it feels so different. Five is baby teeth and new beginnings. Five is venturing out into the world, maybe making a friend. Meeting a teacher. Learning to ride a bike. Six took my breath away. Six looks like a loose front tooth—tiny and wiggly, soon to be replaced by a big tooth, one that will stay forever. Six looks like a bright purple bike zooming down the driveway. RELATED: When There Are No More Little Girls’ Clothes Six looks like playing...

Keep Reading