To my child born into Heaven:
I love you.
More than anything in the world, I wish I could hold you and tell you that I love you a million times.
When I found out I was pregnant with you, the odds were stacked against us. I fought for you every day, and I pleaded with God for healing and life. I prayed with a desperate heart that you would receive a miracle.
I sought the counsel of medical professionals and I did hours upon hours of research, but I never slowed down enough to tell you that I love you.
Suddenly, it was too late. The bleeding came, and you were gone.
Even though I only held you inside of me for a few weeks, you have marked my heart forever.
While I hoped you would be born into my arms in a quiet, dimly lit room, you were born into Heaven and greeted by the Light of the world.
I take great comfort in the truth that our Lord and Savior knit you together in my womb, and He knows you by name. When He greeted you in Heaven, I know that it was a warm embrace. His love for you is even greater than mine, for He is Love, Himself.
You will never know hurt or worry or fear, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful for the five weeks and four days we had together, although I long for so many more.
I now know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve a miscarriage. Whether one-week gestation or 40, you were my baby. Although I have never kissed your face, I promise that I will recognize you as my child when I see you in Heaven.
You have a name, and you had a life that mattered.
I pray now that Jesus wraps you in His arms and tells you how much I love you.
I’m so sorry I never did.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.” -Psalm 139: 13-15
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit. “ -Psalm 147: 3-5
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