When Jesus Met You in Heaven

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I love you.

More than anything in the world, I wish I could hold you and tell you that I love you a million times.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, the odds were stacked against us. I fought for you every day, and I pleaded with God for healing and life. I prayed with a desperate heart that you would receive a miracle.

I sought the counsel of medical professionals and I did hours upon hours of research, but I never slowed down enough to tell you that I love you.

Suddenly, it was too late. The bleeding came, and you were gone.

Even though I only held you inside of me for a few weeks, you have marked my heart forever.

While I hoped you would be born into my arms in a quiet, dimly lit room, you were born into Heaven and greeted by the Light of the world.

I take great comfort in the truth that our Lord and Savior knit you together in my womb, and He knows you by name. When He greeted you in Heaven, I know that it was a warm embrace. His love for you is even greater than mine, for He is Love, Himself.

You will never know hurt or worry or fear, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful for the five weeks and four days we had together, although I long for so many more.

I now know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve a miscarriage. Whether one-week gestation or 40, you were my baby. Although I have never kissed your face, I promise that I will recognize you as my child when I see you in Heaven.

You have a name, and you had a life that mattered.

I pray now that Jesus wraps you in His arms and tells you how much I love you.

I’m so sorry I never did.

Love eternally,
Mommy

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.” -Psalm 139: 13-15

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit. “ -Psalm 147: 3-5

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Christine Judy

I'm happily married to the most wonderful man on the planet, and together we chase after God and love people deeply. I am an IVF rainbow mama of three in Heaven, two on Earth, and six frozen embryos waiting to come home. I enjoy hosting, baking, and game nights.

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I pray now that Jesus wraps you in His arms and tells you how much I love you.

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Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

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