Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day of thankfulness and joy to all the women around us who are raising children. It’s supposed to be a happy day where we express our gratitude for our mother’s sacrifices by showering her with love and to celebrate the great love we have for our own children.
However, as Mother’s Day approaches, many women find themselves fighting many other emotions that aren’t exactly thankful or happy!
I know moms who are sad or angry wishing the day wasn’t a holiday to be celebrated at all! These women associate Mother’s Day as a painful reminder of a miscarriage, the death of a child, or not being able to conceive and desperately wishing to be a mother. For others it is a constant reminder that her relationship with her own mother is messy, complicated, or even nonexistent.
Then there are the moms that are exhausted, going to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes, a to-do list 3 pages long (with nothing crossed off), and a preschooler who has suddenly decided she can not sleep in her own room. The thought of trying to be a perky, happy mother is almost more than she can bear. She feels like whatever she does, it never measures up, that she is a terrible mom and her child deserves better than she can give. On top of that she is battling the never ending mommy wars of breast or bottle, work or stay home, cloth or disposable diapers and the list goes on and on and on.
Want to know a secret?
A lot of the mommy guilt is self-inflicted! That’s right! It comes from what you think you “should” be doing as a mom. Whether the guilt comes from not feeling like you measure up to someone else or because you can’t afford an iPod for your child, comparison creates mommy guilt. Comparison is a trap that we often fall into and it’s difficult to get back out! However, when we let go of that comparison we are freeing ourselves of a lot of the self-imposed mommy guilt! Each of our situations are different and if everyone was the same, the world really would be a boring place!
The other cause of mommy guilt is when we act out in ways that we know are wrong in regards to our children. The Holy Spirit is reminding us that we need to ask forgiveness when we sin from both God and our children. Jesus died on the cross for those sins and when we take the mommy guilt to prayer and ask for forgiveness, we are covered and can let go of the guilt. Isn’t that freeing?
God knows us inside and out. He knows my mothering successes and failures. He loves me anyway. On my hardest days, sometimes I need a reminder of that, but it’s enough for me and I hope it is enough for you! God is enough!